Obviously all downhill from here...

Because "rapscallions". . .

Hockey Racquets (Wirecrossed Consultant Edition)

A city consultant's public art solution to the question of how best to memorialize beloved kids' hockey stick doctor Jack Purcell. For just south of $50,000. Because apparently there were two Jack Purcells, and the one for whom the adjoining Elgin Street recreation centre is not named was a badminton champ. In Guelph.

I dunno. Maybe if you squint. . .

News story replete with retro-rationalisations, or, if you will, lame-o excuses, here.

It is unclear from any of the media coverage whether the unnamed consultant was ever imposed upon, or even offered, to knock a few bucks off the bill for, you know, dropping the ball. . . errr, bird. . . ummm, puck.

Yarn Bombing in Ottawa: Think Woollier!!!

What with all the excitin' yarn bombing news this past weekend, us coyotes stood back and waited, figuring that well-known Knitnut, Zoom, or the Irregulars' own Aggie and/or Woodsy - none of whom is a stranger to craftiness - would pick up the thread and run with it.

Instead, Zoom blogged about the parties she missed, Aggie is still well south of whichever end of the earth she fell off of, and Woodsy was doubtless being very sweet to a tree, somewhere in the trackless forest.

Ergo, it falls to certain highly-qualified coyotes to stitch together this unreliable narrative. Let the record show that our sole experience with needles involves tranquilizer darts and rabies shots. Long story. Don't ask. I digress.

Where were we? Oh yeah. Yarn bombing. So, a weekend update from CBC News hits an intrepid group of Ottawa yarn bombers who plan to do a bus in September. Impressive, even if it's just a ParaTranspo shortie, right?

But wait, Ottawa! A short trawl through the netz turns up the fact that a similarly-inclined group in Whitehorse, Yukon - population rather shy of 25,000 - has already done an entire freakin' passenger airplane.

Did I mention that Whitehorse has fewer than 25,000 people living in it?

So not to slight the locals of the million-plus National Capital Region, but maybe they should start thinking in more, ummm, grandiose terms. I mean, if this city ain't the capital of Canada, as well as of woolly thinking, then my fuzzy butt is bald as the prairie from whence I sprang.

So on behalf of the Elgin Street Irregulars, I make this modest proposal: let's pour both kinds of woolly thinking together into the ol' blender*, hit frappé, and do Parliament. It's the kind of woolly parliamentary thinking we can finally get behind...

* The blender will likely come in even handier later. When we need to whizz up the many frosty drinks we shall require to fortify ourselves, throughout.

Nod to Bob

Bob, from tap my glass and nod my chin, who is one of Aggie's crushes, has started a series photographing nasty loos. This series appeals to me, and Aggie claims that she is loving this nasty loo series so far.

Friday night, I stepped into the washroom stall at a local Indian restaurant, and I was surprised to see an old dented pewter kettle at the foot of the toilet. I crossed my legs for a minute more, and in Bob's honour I took a picture.

Was I supposed to use the kettle water to rinse my delicate parts?

Tong Thursday

Here is a summary of my day:
1) Getting pissed off at a know-it-all who knows f-all (KIAWKFA).
2) Obsessing about how annoying KIAWKFA is.
3) Trying to prove that KIAWKFA is "misinformed" by doing a literature search of the latest research...
4) Finding the evidence I need to prove KIAWKFA wrong.
4) Debating whether or not I should present the KIAWKFA with my evidence that he indeed knows f-all.
5) Deciding to go to a yoga class instead.
6) Going to yoga.
7) Practising with my alternative concept-artist band.
8) Eating really good chili prepared by Manny Blue.
9) Watching the French debates.

Conclusion: yoga, chili and concept art is the way to go. Here is my concept artist hero at the moment - Michael Swaine. For inspiration, watch him in a video here.