Breaking (pelvis) news...

It has come to our attention that while the Short Guy was obsessing about certain junior priests in New Brunswick -- and oh, how the mighty have fallen, although I think he's lost weight so maybe rehab helped somewhat -- our Chief Magistrate here in Ottawa was out getting wrecked during a driving lesson on a snowtercycle. In Osgoode, no less.

Sounds like he's out for the next four to six weeks, which as we all know, is an eternity in the dog-eat-dog world of municipal politics. Given the nature of the injury, he's probably in a certain amount of pain also, which is never a good thing.

Now, us coyotes generally disapprove of snowtercycles, especially in Osgoode. Guys out there, under the highly mistaken impression that we may have formed some sorta unsavoury intent toward their pet cats, chase us and try to mow us down with 'em. (Which when ya think about it, is pretty unsavoury in its own right. Unlike delicious, delicous cats. Ummmm. Perhaps I digress a digression too far...?)

Errr, anyway. Despite our distaste for the vehicle of his misfortune, we of the Irregulars who still keep a paw in this blog ancienne wish Mayor Watson a speedy recovery.

We even have suggestions about how he might quicken his return to public life. Although, given the deep cold which has for some weeks settled over the city and made life a trial for those uncharmed by record-length skating on the Rideau Canal, we hope his accident did not leave him any kind of post-traumatic aversion to vehicles equipped with snowmobile tracks... dogspeed on your journey to wellness, sir!

ESI BeaverBalls™… Got Any?

Now we know that not blogging gets a coyote in a lotta trouble. Late this week I was whacked with a rolled-up newspaper and locked in the doghouse ummm, ESI Product Development Lab. To repent. Instead, I sat among early Mumumelon™, ChickUn™ and lingerie prototypes and had another (ahem) stroke of genius.

The Independent Observer's recent exposition of the disturbing eating habits of Canada's national animal got me thinkin' laterally: those guys in the beaver themed cook shacks on the canal sell huge fried pastries, in dozens of tasty flavours. What if a guy just wants smaller, budget- and diet-friendly snacks with his hot chocolate? Teeny noshes for lean times? Especially if they have the dim-sum-esque quality of being small and diverse enough to con you into overeating them outrageously encourage you to have another. Our marketing department is always thinkin' like that.

So this week, a brand new product introduction: ESI BeaverBalls™!* Deep-fried pastry so tastry, real beavers abandon their own nether regions for it!

And with them, a new ESI contest! Here's the deal: We need a full range of picturesquely-named product. BeaverBalls™ being a completely original concept, toppings like the other guys' Killaloe Sunrise - butter, castor(heh) sugar, cinnamon and a squeeze of lemon juice - are nonstarters. We wouldn't dream of ripping off flavours from our pals on the canal. I'm thinking lotsa maple syrup. Oh, wait...

So dear readers: suggest flavours for our new ESI BeaverBalls™, and Woodsy will whomp up a dozen for the winner(s) - in their winning flavour(s). (We originally thought her rare, collectors-item Hooters T shirt, but decided to save it for another contest...) Think diversity. The sky's the limit. And Aggie, who always gets it right, says we need savouries as well as sweets. Vegan, if you like - say tamari sauce and toasted sesame seeds. I'm personally thinkin' Calgary Coronary: Gruyere and tons of bacon bits. Betcha can't eat just one. We and our loan officer are counting on it…

BeaverBalls™. Got any? Show us!

*(Discarded) slogan suggestion: Not suspiciously similar to TimBits. And even more Canadian.

Rideau Canal: We Try Harder

News Item:

National Geographic rates Rideau Canal a top destination

The Ottawa Citizen

Published: Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Ottawa's Rideau Canal Corridor has placed second out of 109 historic destinations around the world in the November issue of National Geographic Traveller.

• Historic Places Rated: The List
• Ontario: Rideau Canal corridor