2009-01-16

5 reasons why Coyote isn't blogging today...

1) Frozen ears.

2) Frozen paws.

3) Frozen nose.

4) Frozen tail.

5) I'm pretty sure there was a fifth thing - but it's either too numb to count anymore, or else it froze off completely...

24 comments:

The Independent Observer said...

I think you need a chesterfield, Coyote. The kitties in Aggie's post look much more comfortable than you, sitting in the snow and all.

coyote said...

I think there might be one under all that snow. Somewhere...

XUP said...

Wanna come over for some Glühwein?

nursemyra said...

oh dear... you have my sympathy

coyote said...

XUP: With due respect, ma'am, Glühwein has barely enough ethanol to qualify as coyote de-icer. Got Scotch?

NurseMyra: Thank you, ma'am. Bless you, and your demonstrably gigantic lingerie closet...

XUP said...

Scotch it is! And maybe a steaming bowl of oatmeal

coyote said...

I'll need enough of each to bathe in, I think. De-icing is serious business, these days...

raino said...

yes. it's so cold out there. my husband was up three times the other night because he was certain that the cat had not come in and didn't want him to freeze. so, all three times he called and called and the cat never showed up on the doorstep. in the morning when i came downstairs the cat was sitting on the windowsill (inside). lol

XUP said...

A steaming tub of coyote-scotch-oatmeal.

Aggie said...

Coyote, open your eyes --- look at what XUP is putting out there!

TWFKAH said...

Yes, Coyote. Open your eyes.

coyote said...

Ummm, improbable quantities of scotch and oatmeal?

Woodsy said...

Do all Coyote's play hard to get?

coyote said...

Woodsy, you're such a romantic. Think about it logically:

1) XUP is trying to lure me to her place;

2) She possesses industrial quantities of oatmeal and Scotch;

3) Haggis is stuffed with oatmeal;

4) Next Sunday is Robbie Burns Day - when bloodthirsty oatmeal savages drink Scotch and eat haggis... in industrial quantities;

5) It's all too clear! She wants to stuff me with oatmeal and make me into haggis!

Of course I'm playing hard to get... but not the way you're thinking.

Woodsy said...

Coyote, you had me fooled for the last few hours with that agrument. I thought,"Well, Coyote's got me there..."

But, then I remembered, XUP is a vegetarian.

coyote said...

Ahem. How does that change things? Nowhere did I say she was gonna eat me - just that she was gonna make me into haggis...

Milan said...

Ah, Scotch - a most appropriate remedy to Ottawa winters.

Woodsy said...

Milan, thanks for defusing the situation between Coyote and me with your sobering comment...

coyote said...

Yeah. Who says there's no workable love potion? It's Scotch!

XUP said...

Hey - my social skills are obviously a bit rusty if an invitation for drinks and warm comfort food can be misinterpreted as a plot for murder and mayhem (not to mention unpalatable cuisine)

coyote said...

Oops. My bad! But when a majority of the female ESIs start waggling their eyebrows at me and say portentous things like, "Coyote, open your eyes --- look at what XUP is putting out there!" I just naturally think, "OMG! They're right! Haggis!"

Wouldn't you?

Woodsy said...

No,I woudn't.

4th Dwarf said...

Points this round:

XUP: 5 for generosity; 10 for creativity; +20 for skillful guilt tripping = 35 points

Raino: 5 for having one of those universal stories

Aggie and TWFKAH: -5 for spooking the doggy

Woodsy: +5 for diplomacy; -5 for not letting the kids work it out themselves; +5 for paying attention = 5 points

Milan: -5 for changing the topic

Coyote: -5 for ingratitude; -5 for paranoia; -50 for ungentlemanly conduct = -60 points

Congratulations, XUP!

coyote said...

Coyotes don't grow ancient and semimythical not bein' paranoid, Shorty.

(Oatmeal. Meh. Just tack another -5 onto my tab.)

Scotch, I grant, was a generous touch. Which malt, I wonder...? And does wondering out loud add more minus signs to Dwarfie's scoresheet...?