5 reasons why Coyote isn't blogging today...
posted by coyote
1) Frozen ears.
2) Frozen paws.
3) Frozen nose.
4) Frozen tail.
5) I'm pretty sure there was a fifth thing - but it's either too numb to count anymore, or else it froze off completely...
2009-01-16
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24 comments:
I think you need a chesterfield, Coyote. The kitties in Aggie's post look much more comfortable than you, sitting in the snow and all.
I think there might be one under all that snow. Somewhere...
Wanna come over for some Glühwein?
oh dear... you have my sympathy
XUP: With due respect, ma'am, Glühwein has barely enough ethanol to qualify as coyote de-icer. Got Scotch?
NurseMyra: Thank you, ma'am. Bless you, and your demonstrably gigantic lingerie closet...
Scotch it is! And maybe a steaming bowl of oatmeal
I'll need enough of each to bathe in, I think. De-icing is serious business, these days...
yes. it's so cold out there. my husband was up three times the other night because he was certain that the cat had not come in and didn't want him to freeze. so, all three times he called and called and the cat never showed up on the doorstep. in the morning when i came downstairs the cat was sitting on the windowsill (inside). lol
A steaming tub of coyote-scotch-oatmeal.
Coyote, open your eyes --- look at what XUP is putting out there!
Yes, Coyote. Open your eyes.
Ummm, improbable quantities of scotch and oatmeal?
Do all Coyote's play hard to get?
Woodsy, you're such a romantic. Think about it logically:
1) XUP is trying to lure me to her place;
2) She possesses industrial quantities of oatmeal and Scotch;
3) Haggis is stuffed with oatmeal;
4) Next Sunday is Robbie Burns Day - when bloodthirsty oatmeal savages drink Scotch and eat haggis... in industrial quantities;
5) It's all too clear! She wants to stuff me with oatmeal and make me into haggis!
Of course I'm playing hard to get... but not the way you're thinking.
Coyote, you had me fooled for the last few hours with that agrument. I thought,"Well, Coyote's got me there..."
But, then I remembered, XUP is a vegetarian.
Ahem. How does that change things? Nowhere did I say she was gonna eat me - just that she was gonna make me into haggis...
Ah, Scotch - a most appropriate remedy to Ottawa winters.
Milan, thanks for defusing the situation between Coyote and me with your sobering comment...
Yeah. Who says there's no workable love potion? It's Scotch!
Hey - my social skills are obviously a bit rusty if an invitation for drinks and warm comfort food can be misinterpreted as a plot for murder and mayhem (not to mention unpalatable cuisine)
Oops. My bad! But when a majority of the female ESIs start waggling their eyebrows at me and say portentous things like, "Coyote, open your eyes --- look at what XUP is putting out there!" I just naturally think, "OMG! They're right! Haggis!"
Wouldn't you?
No,I woudn't.
Points this round:
XUP: 5 for generosity; 10 for creativity; +20 for skillful guilt tripping = 35 points
Raino: 5 for having one of those universal stories
Aggie and TWFKAH: -5 for spooking the doggy
Woodsy: +5 for diplomacy; -5 for not letting the kids work it out themselves; +5 for paying attention = 5 points
Milan: -5 for changing the topic
Coyote: -5 for ingratitude; -5 for paranoia; -50 for ungentlemanly conduct = -60 points
Congratulations, XUP!
Coyotes don't grow ancient and semimythical not bein' paranoid, Shorty.
(Oatmeal. Meh. Just tack another -5 onto my tab.)
Scotch, I grant, was a generous touch. Which malt, I wonder...? And does wondering out loud add more minus signs to Dwarfie's scoresheet...?
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