Desperate to leverage the First World War centenary...

...into a political poll bump as a world of Senate unpleasantness and assorted ideological policy failures threatened to come home to roost in his personal office chair, Steverino ordered his fibreglas helmet maker, ummm, hairstylist, to get him rockin' The Full Robert Borden for the big commemoration ceremony.

Then someone told him that Sir Robert had been prime minister at the head of a Union government during the war, and he felt like a very, very foolish Little Trained Economist...

Coyote couture

Dearest Internet;

So, it finally comes to this. Snarky fashion commentary from an addled, ancient, colourblind dog. Like you don't have enough of that kind of thing already.

I was primed to go all semimythical on Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente's ongoing plagiarism woes this post, but then realized that chuckin' rocks at her from a glass palace housing a remarkable collection of putative monuments to copyright infringement might be taken wrongly. (Pro-tip for Peggy Plagiarist: fair use and satire provisions of the copyright act figure heavily in any future legal defense of this blog. We ain't proud.)

So on to Plan B: fuzzy fashionista-ing. Sadly, I'm not even sure who to blame for this turn of events. The, ummm, Learning Channel's weird-ass assertion that What Not to Wear, and Honey Boo Boo constitute education? The guilty coffee-break pleasures of seeing Go Fug Yourself.Com -- a cosmic-level snark-ladler, even on off-days -- tear fraying strips of red carpet off actresses and celebutantes I've never heard of?

Now that I consider, the question burns hotter than any random Tory cabinet minister's pants in any given Question Period. But it is, as usual, a(nother) digression. Betcha didn't spot that one comin'!

No, we're here to speak of the tricks of perception and public relations that cause fashionistas worldwide to suddenly label one young woman possessed of Mediterranean extraction "fat", while another young woman possessed of Mediterranean extraction and pretty much the exact same body morphology, but arguably less talent, manages to keep getting called "hot".

I mean, yeah, Lady Gaga has been thinner, and maybe Kim Kardashian has, too. (See how I cleverly mentioned two heavily-Googled celebrity names in the same sentence? Pure hit counter gold, that. Not that this blog would ever stoop to such a thing.) Apparently I, ummm, digress again. Us coyotes are really no good at the fashion commentary thing, even though some of us were paper trained on back issues of Women's Wear Daily. Go figure.

What I meant to say, before chronic ADD once again bested my good narrative intentions is that Gaga's and KiKa's (can I call her KiKa...?) hips are pretty obviously about the same relative circumferences for their heights.

So from where I sit, KiKa's spackle-and-spin support team is earning its pay, because to my untrained yellow eye, both women are selling the same runway strut. Both outfits are analogously ridiculous. Ditto the shoes. Peroxide aside, there isn't much to tell the hair. Cheez. If we didn't have publicists, reality shows and entertainment "reporters" constantly telling us what to think, we'd be in deep, deep trouble...

Air Kisses and Fake Professions of Undying Love,

Coyote

Successful-looking guys on spiffy bicycles...

...even if they are impeccably turned out in natty, freshly-pressed office clothes, and even if they are riding one of those tall English limousine numbers, should probably consider not talking on their cell phones whilst they're riding up Elgin Street. During rush hour. With no hands. Through a red light.

While they do get minimal points for at least having the sense to wear a helmet during all of the above, I had to cover my eyes with my paws for a minute there. Us coyotes only enjoy anticipating violence of our own makin'.

I'm just saying...

Image: Courtesy Ski-Epic's Amsterdam Bicycles

Rabbit Ears

I am curious about these dainties that I saw in a window display today.



Do you tuck the bow into your pants/skirt, or let it stick out over the waist band?

Is this the fashion that will replace the whale tail?

I suspect that Coyote will like that I am claiming dibs on naming the look, "rabbit ears".

Mannequin Monday - Paris Edition

XUP took this picture for me while in Paris.


She tells me that, this mannequin is in the window of the Louis Vuitton store and she floats slowly up and down - ostensibly* because of the Louis Vuitton balloons tied around her hands.

It seems that the mannequin that I thought of as being clownish is actually in synchrony with Paris high fashion.

*Ever notice how XUP likes to use swellegant words? I like that about her.

Travelling incognito

Upon arriving at the airport in Bridgetown, Barbados, I noticed a sign informing visitors that camouflage is banned on the island.

I have concluded the reason must be one of the following:

1. The people of Barbados fear takeover by a camouflage-clad army of insurgents.
2. The country is populated by fervent hunters who may mistakenly shoot tourists disguised in camouflage.
3. Barbados has taken a firm stand against what is perhaps the most objectionable fashion trend of the decade.

Good habits

This was passed to me by a friend:

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sightseeing on a Tuesday in July.

It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to her barstools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighbourhood. All five nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the place through the front door.

They, too, came for a cold drink and were scandalized by what they saw.

The New Year Lift

Harmony and I were discussing what to wear to the New Year's Eve party that we will be attending together.

Dwarfie, who overheard us, responded with, "Something that shows leg and cleavage." The Chair seconded Dwarfie's comment with a naughty chuckle and an affirmative shake of the head.

"Well, my dress is short and low cut," I responded, "but I don't know how to make my girls peek over the balcony..."

"The right bra will do the trick," Harmony informed me.

Harmony was correct. At a trendy brassiere shop in the Rideau Centre, a young salesperson, knowledgeable in the art of cleavage, explained to me that it was all about memory foam (I thought she said mammary foam).

"No one comes about it naturally and size is not important," she reassured me as she eyed my bosom. She handed me two different bras, and I was impressed to see that the bras featured over one inch of foam at the base and sides of the cups.

"All the better to push things up," she chirped encouragingly.

*I wont' show my bra versus bra-less look - that's already been done in quite the lovely way by one of the ESI's favourite bloggers.

Tank Top Tuesday Poll

A couple of weeks ago, Skylark suggested that I conduct a poll between oatmeal and tank tops. Being that I am a great fan of his blog, I will oblige him...

Oatmeal

Tank Top

Do you prefer oatmeal or tank tops?
	Oatmeal
	Tank tops
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Tank Top Tuesday

Green mesh sweater, green tank top, black bra

Tank Top Tuesday

Mourning the Poll Results - Oatmeal is Losing

Breaking News*

Nymphs not wearing tank tops

Here are the results, so far, of your voting for which t-shirt or tank top I should order:

Coming Through: 8%
Woodsy's Web: 25%
Putting Out: 25%
Mad for Tea: 42%

You have two more days to vote before I place my order, and unlike with the Canadian Blog Awards, you can vote as often as desired.

Audrey and Harmony, I haven't forgotten your two votes for Romantic Gestures.

*OK, so maybe it isn't.

Tank Top Thursday

Tank Top Tuesday

Nursmyra, is this a tank top or a corset?

New at the Meta-Wear Store: Tea-Shirts

You could be wearing this or another of our fine tea-shirts. Just stop by the Meta-Wear Store.

The mad-for-tea-shirt was inspired by Jo Stockton and a young friend of hers. Commissions from sales of this shirt will be donated to an Ottawa United Way Children's Charity.

Tank Top Tuesday

Helping Manny Blue hang up a purple veil.

Tank Top Tuesday on Wednesday

Playing with Manny Blue's Boas

Tank Top Tuesday

Woodsy Web
Happy Hallowe'en

Tank Top Tuesday

Rasputin's Folk Café - Inside the Men's Washroom (self-portrait)

Breaking News: Marketing Opportunity at Fashion Week

I learned from Ottawa Street Style that the Ottawa Fashion Week, Nov 12-15, [Not to be confused with Capital Fashion Week, Nov 21-22] is offering sponsorship opportunities.

For $400, a sponsor would get:

• 2 VIP week passes;
  
• a verbal thank you at the Official Opening Press Conference;
• Their banner displayed in the CIMA lounge;
  
• Their logo on www.ottawafashionweek.ca with a link to their company website; and
• Their logo on all Ottawa Fashion Week promotional materials!
  

Question: How can we put together the $400?