2009-12-11

The lie of the land

Memo to Defence Minister Peter MacKay RE: Afghan torture

Sirrah:
You're still a wanker. But it appears that you're evolving into a more morally reprehensible one.

It pains nobody more than us to admit that, when you assert that you know nothing, you are not actually telling the truth. Because we'd really like to believe it. And god knows, you and your colleagues in the current caucus pretty much demonstrate, often and with vigour, that you truly do know nothing most of the time.

Unfortunately, in the matter of what you, personally, knew about the army handing Afghan detainees over for torture, as with many other assertions of moral superiority that your government has made in the past year or two, the fat is in the fire. The cat is out of the bag. The jig is up.

For future reference, ya might want to take careful notes on what I'm about to say. This definitely will be on the exam. Soon, I hope:

For politicians such as yourself - that is, a guy who lied his face off to get himself elected head of the former Conservative party, so he could hand it over to his current NeoCon lord and master to co-opt - plausible denial only really ever works, and usually only a teensy bit even then, when it's, ummm, plausible.

Plausibility vanishes whenever you open your mouth. Is that clear enough? Even for you?

Because at the moment, you're only twistin' in the wind, feeding extra oxygen to the kinds of flames that, sooner or later, will fry even those banned Quebec asbestos underpants that you guys persist in trying to flog to the Third World...

4 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

This is a most excellent rant, Coyote!

coyote said...

Thank you, ma'am. As you know, we coyotes are kinda prone to bite the asses that try to fart in our faces...

Bandobras said...

I don't understand. Petey said couldn't believe the Taliban when they claimed to be tortured. He said we couldn't believe the diplomat who said he had been told there was torture. And now apparently the Canadian soldiers, who knew well enough there was torture they photographed prisoners before turning them over so they could prove they didn't do it, are also not to be believed.
That leaves only little Petey to be believed so I can't see where the problem is. Just accept everything he says and the world will be OK.

coyote said...

Bandobras, I understand that you do not understand. Ummm, crap! I went off-message. Scratch that!

Let me read instead from this prepared statement that I coincidentally happen to have with me:

"If I had been informed of your perplexity, I would have done something about it.

Unfortunately, I've ordered all ESI staffers not to tell me about it, so that I can continue to state officially that it does not exist..."