2009-05-15

No whore like an old whore *

For a guy hellbent on preserving, what he seems to believe is a, ummm, statesman's legacy and good name, former PM Brian Mulroney has quite an approach.

A brief pause to declare biases: my visceral hatred of the man and every oily thing he's done or stood for, has raged undying from the time he started smarming the backroom boys back in the antediluvian era, to this day. We keep punting the bastard out of the headlines. Still he has the nerve to keep coming back and re-offending, already! He once took voice coaching to lower his timbre and sound smoother. Still my large, sensitive ears must instinctively fold themselves shut periodically, to muffle an undertone of nails on a blackboard. Just so ya know.

My distaste stems from a sleazy style and an unidentifiable substance. I possess the clamouring sixth sense that every smirk - and he smirked a bunch, back in the day - signalled (yet another) gleeful skate to the thinnest edge of propriety. He was always more about clinching the deal - any deal - than what the hell actually came of it. Just as long as he could beat his chest in public and brag in private about being the smart guy that made it happen. And he seemed to truly love putting one over on just about anybody, then justifying it in technical terms so narrow and specious that only he and hangers-on seemed to be able to believe they were in the true spirit of the thing. It wasn't about the good of the country, or even his party, or the power. It was about putting one over on someone. Anyone.

You see where I'm going with this. Every time the guy did something, somebody got screwed. They knew they'd been screwed, and resented it. Their last sight usually was of Mulroney skating away on ice so thin it crackled, thumbing his nose over his shoulder. Eventually, most of the country felt that way. He skated off again, ducking humiliation by handing over the party to a Patsy (actually, a Kim...) so that he could say he'd always led the Tories to majorities. Technically.

Since, he has acted to save what he regards as his good name, in ways that beggar the idea of a good name. It's a world where being called Right Honourable is everything. Acting right honourably, not so much. This time he may succeed again - it's important for him to appear to be a success in others' eyes - but only in technical terms so narrow and specious as to hollow out the 'win' utterly. His performance at the inquiry on the Hill this week has been vintage: tightly scripted, smarmy, blustering, self-congratulatory, even crocodile tears. Along with gratuitous digressions that attempt yet again to rewrite history and re-shaft old enemies. Even now, he thinks he can charm the country one more time with sins of omission, half-truths and hubris. Possibly he will. Technically.

But it has been a performance. The guy wants to be liked and well thought of, and has no idea why so many hate him. Even as PM, he made a deeply flawed dramatic character: grandiose, venal, over-eager to be loved, fonder of appearances than actual substance. And pathetic. He still is. And he still deserves no sympathy.

* A curiously relevant Mulroney quote... don'cha think?

8 comments:

Bandobras said...

This is a man who worked in and around the halls of power, political and commercial for decades.
Does he know of any others who took their pay in cash.
Do we know any others who didn't declare their earnings for six years and yet have no tax men jumping all over them.
The only good thing about him is he could ease the oil shortage if he was ever boiled down.

Wandering Coyote said...

I cannot stand this lying wanker either and I am so ticked that Newsworld keeps putting him on every freaking morning as if there's nothing else going on of note in this world and as if this fracking idiot is worthy of all this attention! I feel like firing off a nasty email to the CBC because this is really ticking me off.

zoom said...

Brilliant post Coyote! You've captured the essence of the man completely...I can almost smell him from here.

Wandering Coyote said...

I couldn't take it anymore: I just fired off an email to Newsworld registering my annoyance with the CBC coverage.

coyote said...

Why, thank you, all. I believe our spleens should now be far better-ventilated than the average gazebo.

Health-and-wellness-enhancing, under the circumstances, no...?

xup said...

Ditto what Zoom and other coyote said. On the upside, however, he's getting his comeuppance tenfold through BEN!!! The boy who had every advantage under the sun and chose to grow up to be a fake-tanned E-Talk host. How righeous is that?

Aggie said...

Coyote, you sure know how to skewer a man. Zoom may be smelling him. I'm smelling him sizzle.

coyote said...

Just touched a li'l match to the snake oil was all. Flammable stuff, that.