Emergency Meeting: Monday, April 2

Called by: Eigga
Venue: The Usual Spot
Present: The Independent Observer, Eigga, Coyote, Fourth Dwarf, The Chair, Conch Shell
Guest: Painted Stick
Food: Soup, Burger
Beverages: Beer, Coke, {redacted}
Major Topics Discussed: New directions for the blog, Post-traumatic unbloggability, A special project
Major Topics Neglected: Shortlist of names for new Rideau Canal pedestrian bridge
Overall: A dreary start to the meeting, but then candid and vigorous exchanges about sex
Minutes by: The IO

Discussion ensues as to whether the meeting should a. even be taking place b. be moved to a different venue.

There is much intermittent debate about whether the blog should take on a new direction.

The Chair: This blog is always trying to find a new direction!

Dissection of gathering Saturday at a different venue where The Chair, in the company of his mother and Fourth Dwarf, witnesses a disturbing incident. The same evening, a barfly hits on his mother, which he finds only mildly disconcerting.

4D chides The Chair for not blogging the episode.

I was too traumatized! The Chair insists. Besides, he adds, I can't blog when I'm hanging with {redacted}.

How are the readership numbers? The blog is drawing 35 visitors a day, says The Chair.

Someone notes that we probably collectively account for the 35 daily hits.

No, says The Chair, these are visits by people other than the ESIs and their virtual posse.

Dwarf notes that a certain local blogger, {redacted}, is doing much better.

An eyebrow or two arch upwards.

Coyote raises the question of SRW tags.

Dwarf: I don't even know what you're talking about.

It turns out SRW stands for Self-referential wanking.

Ideas to help the blog: More revealing titles, more frequent posts, swapping of posting days.

Conch Shell's absence is noted. The IO says the attendance of CS and PS is a 51 to 49 per cent possibility. The Chair puts the possibility at 10 per cent. Fourth Dwarf pegs it at zero.

Conch Shell and Painted Stick arrive.

Other ideas to help the blog: Animated profiles of the ESIs a la Rocket Robin Hood, more sex, theme weeks, adhering to the one-screen rule, sensitively metablogging the {redacted} who is about to begin a blog.

Digressions:

(*) It is observed that tambourines make good tip bowls.

(*) Fourth Dwarf, whose employment prospects appear uncertain, announces he is investigating the colour of his parachute.

(*) Eigga asks about a previous gathering, and whether anyone picked up a vibe that {redacted} was {redacted} the {redacted} woman.

CS: Yes

4D: He was trying to work his mojo.

CS: Do {redacted} people tend to just naturally put their arms around one another?

There is no consensus.

(*) There is, however, agreement that holding the Junos in Saskatchewan was a grave mistake.

(*) PS asks to be completely redacted. His request is denied.

It is decided there will be ESI Theme Weeks, each with the prefix Dysfunctional. For instance, Dysfunctional Ottawa Culture Week.

There is subsequently much talk of a special ESI project, which raises the following questions:

(*) Do we need a lawyer?

(*) Should it be a {redacted} or a {redacted}?

(*) When should we tell {redacted}?

(*) Should the project simply focus on CB Radio culture?

Additional digressions:

(*) Each of the ESIs should have MySpace and Facebook pages.

(*) The new gmail sign-in procedure is a major pain.

Final thoughts on the special project:

(*) Should Will Ferrell be involved? Scarlett Johansson? Colin Firth?

(*) Agreed: First, we need a {redacted}.