Robbed Again

The Rabid Posse is back at their dastardly tricks! This time, they have kept us off the prestigious Ottawa Xpress Best of Ottawa Readers Poll for best Ottawa blog!

Let's have a look at the nominees and I'll tell you what is wrong with them:

Dial 6-1-3_: It's a music blog. Do they have a cam in the sidebar column for music videos? No. In this post they said "no shows on Monday." The Xpress differs. And the Xpress doesn't even mention the music that's always on at that quaint little pub at Elgin and Frank. On top of that, they don't even mention Bjorn Again at the Casino tonight!

rob mclennan's blog: Of course they had to put that genius at self-promotion on this list, but really, a blog about poetry? More worthy than a blog about blogs?

The Blog of Amanda Earl: Yes, in a transparent attempt to be put on the ballot, she gives links to her erotic writing. But has she ever helped someone find the right mojomaster for their birthday? No.

Matilda: This Jennifer Whiteford is too good to be true. She writes well, is kind to everyone she comes across, loves children, is into indie rock. Even used to be in a band and likely will be again some day. I'd ask where is her edge,? but she hangs out with that sex fiend Megan Butcher. But has she ever posted a series of cartoons that create a comment thread that turns into an alien abduction theory? No.

Asteroidea Press: Speaking of sex fiend Megan Butcher, here she is on the award ballot. Yes, none of us has volunteered to have needles stuck into our tender flesh to gain readership for the blog, and Megan has us beat there. Perhaps IO or CS, this is what you could do to get back into our good graces. Still, Butcher has never created a game based on a blog.

David Scrimshaw's Blog: This pathetic lad may have something going with his groundbreaking series on binder clips. But reading his blog, you'd get the idea that he hasn't had a date since the late 80s.

Humanyms: This is one of those blogs that you have to follow for a while to understand what is going on. Not like our readily accessible blog.

John W. MacDonald's Weblog: This MacDonald is taking terrific portraits of Ottawa writers and artists. He's still getting out even though he's a new father. Admirable, yes. But his blog is so huge it loads forever and where's the RSS feed?

Through the Broken Viewfinder: Fine photos, an RSS feed, but does he have excellent advice on how to get along in a relationship? No.

OnVertigo: She takes amazing photos, and apparently she has big boobs and looks great in a short skirt. But if you've seen me in a kilt, you know I could say the same thing (aside from the photos).

Space to Live: Well, well. Look who is at the bottom of the ballot. Our old friend Lana. Yes, I've heard through the grape vine that she doesn't hate me. But answer this, how does someone who hasn't posted since September 30, and whose blog has only 15 postings wind up on the ballot when we're on the scrap heap?

Conclusion: We're not at our best. Musie is lying low and certain Irregulars have become more like Incommunicados. But I'd match the recent work from the Chair against anything on these other blogs. (Except perhaps Ms Butcher's tattoo photos.)

Still, we're not the only ones who got robbed. What about Marmite and Sot?


Agatha said...

This is shocking! Who can we complain to about this?

Anonymous said...

Shocking aggie? Really, I'd say it smacks of sour grapes. In fact, I'd disagree with much of what's been stated here, but for the comments about David Scrimshaw's blog. With which I heartily agree.

Anonymous said...

i think your summary is quite accurate and funny. i would have nominated you.

bob said...

Mabye next year you can give us a heads up that xpress is in nominating nomination mode, so i can go do so - since this (and your tributaries) is the only ottawa blog i read, how else am i supposed to know??

And might i add, massive props to the tom waits song playing on your current utube vid.

Amanda said...

well i plan to put your blog forward for next year's ottabloggie or whatever they're calling it. i'm dreadfully sorry about the lack of mojomasters on my own blog.

4th Dwarf said...

Aggie, the time for complaining has passed. I say we forget about Ottawa's Best Blog and go for the World's! Then they'll be sorry at the Xpress! I can't wait to see how they explain their oversight!

Anonymous, you may want to explore your extreme swings in perception with a professional of some sort.

Bob, I'm sure BlogAdmin appreciates your compliment on his Tom Waits selection, but please don't encourage him. If he had his way this would be the Tom Waits Internet Radio Station.

Amanda, thank you for your support and it's not too late to rectify your mojomaster shortage. You might want to start with the MojoMasterAirStream.

Anonymous said...

Has that head wound healed yet, Dwarfie?

the independent coyote observer said...

"... but really, a blog about poetry? More worthy than a blog about blogs?" Shurely shome mistake? As if a blog about space mining is somehow bettering human, ... er, dogkind?

4th Dwarf said...

Anonymous, thank you for asking. The surgery is scheduled for Friday.

IOCO, a space-mining blog? Is there a space-mining blog out there? In one sense, I hope there is, because I would love it, but in the other sense, we'd never win the world's best blog if there is.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God are you slow Dwarfie? Don't you get the accent? The reference to "space..." The whole thing about "human...er dogkind?" That head wound better get fixed, space miner...or I actually might start to worry about you.

4th Dwarf said...

Hey Anonymous, I've been a bit slower than usual, what with the cold damp weather and my arthritis.

And I guess I did miss the accent. Anyone who has noticed how I sound kind of Scottish when I talk Pirate knows I'm a bit off with accents. I also can never keep straight which is acute and which is circonflex.

I appreciate your concern about the head wound. As far as I know, my surgery is still on schedule.

Anonymous said...

Ok, two things:
(1)how'd the surgery go, dwarf?
(2)my Lord, please, oh please, will one of you post SOMETHING? ANYTHING? (not that the woodchuck thing isn't disarmingly cute, but let's move on now...)