2006-07-05

Views on a Muse


Life as an Irregular is not all mojitos n' cheesecake on sunny terraces, not by a long shot. We continue, behind the scenes, to search for a metablogworthy new muse.

I liked our old Muse for many reasons. As one of our "B"mused silent witnesses noted at one point, she was an exhibitionist, and we were rather a bunch of voyeurs -- it was a match made in metaheaven.

Then, possibly with our aid, she shed the dysfunctional relationship that drove her blog and ours, got into another one, got happy, got married and got disappeared. Aggie mourns this state of affairs to this day, and continues to cast about for our next subject.

What are we looking for? Somebody who's articulate and literate. Someone with a reasonably dysfunctional love life, or at least someone who wants a love life, who is searching for it in reasonably dysfunctional settings..... A fairly crisp balance of spunk, angst, humour and self-pity. Self-aware postings are good. Let's face it; metablogging a brain-dead muse holds no challenge or interest.

Our new metamuse needs to be someone who blogs frequently enough to create a sufficient body of quality work, so that we may do what we do best: riff on some seriously-bent-outta-shape mojo. Someone who shows the potential to move forward from mere inertial whining about the situation -- which stales damn fast -- and actually act. Right now, our patented brand of semi-respectful irreverence is all dressed up with no place to go. The Chair is dying to show off his new slipcover, and I'm pretty sure Aggie's bandaid is about due to fall off. The Independent Observer has been polishing his lenses for so long, they're beginning to wear out. Conch Shell, who has been MIA for much of the spring, finally seems to be floating within sight of us. And the Short Guy, is, well, the Short Guy. He's always got things to say. Often about completely innocent coyotes.

Perhaps we don't need to confine our search to traditional pairings -- it'd be very Canadian of us to consider placing gay relationships within our purview. At least until that gang of antediluvian trolls lurking on the current government's back benches have their way. Most relationships, gay or straight, hold many common issues. As Gertrude Stein (and I quote her advisedly) probably would've said, given half a chance, "A relationship is a relationship is a relationship."

And now that we've done the whole "spring-a-giant-blog-about-the-last-few-months-of-your-life" thing once, maybe it's time to retire that strategy, and become more open from the outset. Although I regret to say, having experienced it, that the Heisenberg Principle seems to work both ways, affecting us as much as it affected the Muse. But maybe that was the point. Really, it was all about us....

Now, a question: should we as a group perhaps be setting protocols for contact with any potential new muses? So that our myriad, anarchic agentes provocateurs know in advance what their constraints are, 'steada freelancing quite as much as they did last year? Not that I'm mentioning names. You know who you are...

(Image from doggieshades.com)

5 comments:

Conch Shell said...

I think what Coyote is trying to say, Aggie, is that you blew it by commenting on that lesbian's website. And on top of that, Aggie has not yet punched the pillow while screaming, so I don't think her bandages should come off.
But my vote is -- we should not be upfront with our intended future muses. Secrecy. Much more fun.

Agatha said...

My comment was simply to encourage the woman to keep blogging. And she is!
The problem with secrecy last time was that we discovered the muse's identity. Remember when we had to call in the ethics/therapist dude to help us work through it? He told us that secrets often cause problems. That's when we decided to tell the muse, and that's when her life turned out. It's actually because of us that she is happy and out of the dysfunctional relationship. I'm not convinced that the metablog should be kept secret.

4th Dwarf said...

I think what the furrball is trying to say is that next time we find somebody with a screwed up life we should not give them the benefit of our wisdom (or rambling and incoherent prose as the case may be). Because this might lead them to straighten out their lives and stop blogging. And god forbid we should have to go through another tedious quest for a muse.

I say - that's not fair! It would mean that people who write boring blogs (like Bob and that Scrimshaw fellow) would benefit from our insight while people who put it all out there, wouldn't.

Instead, we should be looking for a way to penalize the boring!

And encourage the possibly interesting. For instance, Lucy -- what's she up to? All that time in America and no word of interactions with the opposite sex? C-Dog, Maybe you could promise her a poem for everytime she gives us some gossip.

Agatha said...

Bob is NOT boring. He's delightful. And I love it when he talks about "floor joists" and "redundant beams." And when he wrote this...(sigh!): "First thing will be to throw out the old sink, decommision and move the toilet out, screw the floor (literally), and lay tile. Then grout, then probably some sealant. Then the toilet can go back in and i can pee again…"

Bob is a lovely lovely young man for whom I have a colossal crush.

But- back to the issue at hand. It seems that there is a gender bias in our search for a muse. I think Bob and Scrimshaw could both be potential metablog candidates. I think if either were to launch into a dysfunctional relationship, and then blog about it, they would really be potential metablog candidates.

coyote said...

So, Ag, if the Dwarf went all medieval on the floor joists & redundant beams in that rickety hole that he insists on calling a 'launch pad', would you find him as 'delightful' and 'lovely lovely'? Just askin'...