2005-09-01

What would 007 do?

12 comments:

4th Dwarf said...

Committing to Cats vs. Committing to Women

A non-exhaustive list

If you leave a cat, you are responsible for finding it a new caregiver; if you leave a woman, finding a new caregiver is her problem [Advantage: woman]

If you take in a cat and don't treat it perfectly, you can keep in mind that without you the cat might have been put to death; If you don't treat a woman perfectly, she will remind you over and over again how badly you have behaved, probably long after your relationship has ended, she will tell her friends, your friends, your family, she may even put it in a blog. [Advantage: cat]

With a cat you are responsible for feeding it, cleaning its litter box and getting it medical treatment when needed; with a woman you may be made to feel responsible for the feeding part, there will be battles over the cleaning of the bathroom, but you will only be responsible for medical treatment when she's really in bad shape. [tie]

A cat will do nothing to feed you, clean up around you, or give you medical treatment; a woman might help with all of those things and more. [Advantage: woman]

A cat will be affectionate to you only when it feels like it; I'm not even going to type this one out [tie]

Sex [Advantage: woman]

If you take on a cat and are single, you run the risk of falling in love with a cat-allergic woman and having to give up the cat; If you take on a woman, you're not going to come across a cat who will make you want to give up the woman [Advantage: woman]

If you take on a cat, going away for a weekend has new complications; If you take on a woman, you've got someone to go away for weekends with [Advantage: woman]

Conclusion: It should be easier to decide to be with a woman than to be with a cat.

coyote said...

Women smell better than cats. Unless, of course, you're hungry. [Advantage: woman]

6th Apostle said...

A cat that never goes out is simply a house cat. A woman that never goes out is agoraphobic.
[Advantage: cat]

exhausted cat commentator said...

I don't know, I felt pretty exhausted after reading it.

Committing to Cats vs. Committing to Men

If your male cat keeps you up all night with his yowling, prowling, and embarrassing impregnation of other females, you have many options, including (1) getting rid of him, 2) neutering him (Oooohhh!!!), and (3)re-naming him "Dude."
If your man keeps you up all night with HIS catting around, you have only two options: (1) be jealous, hurt, resentful, and tell him about it. He may stick around after that, or he may not. Either way, you'll feel like crap. And (2) be jealous, hurt and resentful and accept his behavior. He may stick around or not, and you'll still feel like crap.
Advantage: cat.

If your male cat persists in marking his territory with urine, as male cats are prone to do, you can (1)get rid of him, (2) kick him in the *^%% up to 22 times, or (3)make him an "outdoor" cat, permanently.

If your man starts peeing around the house, I suppose you could get rid of him. But more likely you'll feel confused and abashed by his weird behavior, and get led down a long and expensive road with him as he journies from one mental health expert to another, trying to find out "why?"
Advantage: cat.

If your cat proudly brings you dead and not-quite-dead bleeding, struggling, varmints as he proudly fulfills his male destiny as the provider for the household, you can: (1)tell him nicely to stop (he won't)(2) run screaming every time he does it (he still won't stop)or (3)make him a permanent, outdoor "barn" cat at your uncle Ned's farm.

If your man persisits in feeding and otherwise providing for his family, you will probably be grateful, for at least that.
advantage: man.

Etc, etc, etc.......

4th Dwarf said...

Not quite sure what you're getting at ECC.

I compared Committing to Cats vs. Committing to Women because 5M compared her difficulty in taking on permanent possession of a cat to M's difficulty in taking on a real relationship with her.

If you'd rather talk about how much better cats are than men or how much better women are than men, we're in different discussions and one which I believe all the male ESIs would concede to you.

exhausted cat commentator said...

Yeah right, dwarfie.

How going from a James Bond posting to pitched whining about how a woman will remind you unto death how badly you've treated her (speaking from experience here? A bit of baggage, perhps?)has NOTHING to do with you, or with comparing cats to women from your own perspective. Right.

Besides, who said the discussion was about men and woman and how they are possibly better or not than cats? I thought the comments were indicating pretty much a tie. And I thought this was a good bit of research into the next possible poll...

4th Dwarf said...

Thanks for the clarification.

And for helping me see the difference between "pitched whining" and a "good bit of research".

Agatha said...

OK - Nice that you two are mixing it up again...
But back to the 5M. I think a male cat is what she needs. Corwin may just be the cat for her. Male cats tend to be more dog-like. I think the 5M needs a cat that acts like a dog.

Agatha said...

I love Bob.

The Independent MasterCard Observer said...

Cat food: 99 cents a tin
Kitty litter: $3.49 a bag
Couch repair: $63.58
Replacement screen door: $87.65
Dry cleaning: $59.87

Life with a feline (or two): Priceless

4th Dwarf said...

Agatha,

re Cat: I think you might be projecting.

re Bob: Do we need to appoint a new ethics committee? So there'll be no conflict of interest issue?

Agatha said...

4D: I'm definitely projecting regarding my previous cat comments. Thank you for calling me on this.
Regarding Bob, I think the creepy dating formula folks will prevent me from going anywhere near the young lad.