The Pool Guy, the Dude's Ex and the M Countdown

I'm at home tonight, recovering from my plastic surgery. I expect to be looking fabulous in a couple of weeks when the bandages come off...

I was not surprised to read that the 5M will be meeting the Pool Guy for dinner. Question: Is there an obligation to go out for dinner with any control freak who asks us just because there are no other "explorations" on the horizon? I'm hoping that the Pool Guy has more to offer than the paternalistic comments about her clothing choices. But maybe he's a nice guy. Maybe we need to give him a chance. He is a lawyer, after all!

Now, on to the Dude. The 5M felt guilty -about her phone etiquette?- when she talked to the Dude's ex-girlfriend. So, she decided that she'd "show her good will" by attending the Dude's ex-girlfriend's yoga class. Question: Can someone help me out with this one, please? Conch Shell, perhaps you with all your Zen spiritual yoga training could enlighten us on this? (You see, Aggie does NOT always get it).

M: M is leaving Centretown. At first, I thought it might help the 5M if we put up a "M's leaving Centretown countdown" on our blog once all that Pirate crap comes down. But I don't think it will help. M's moving to Kanata. That is depressing in itself. It's easy to say that the loss of M is for the better. I must say, I'm not feeling all smug and judgmental about this one. And fellow ESIs, I'm not just saying this because I'm trying to endear myself to the 5M's rabid little posse...This is a sad story.


4th Dwarf said...

Food for thought, Aggie,

5M's latest also raises the issue of how long it takes for a new habit to settle in.

I thought I'd have a look in my little "On Resolve" book to see if has any insight.

It's a short book that came with a resolution tracking system that Aggie and Conchie gave me on my birthday. Apparently they thought I needed to make some resolutions. (They also gave me a new eyepatch and hook, I guess that was actually some kind of joke given this "pirate crap" remark.)

As it happens, I've just leafed through the wee book and there's nothing about how long it takes for a habit to take except "... after weeks of resistance to seemingly thankless exercise, you will one day punch the alarm clock at 6:30 A.M., swing your legs out of bed, and take a groggy two-mile walk without thinking about it."

There is specific advice that 5M seems to be following without having received it.

1. Commit

2. Believe (that you can do it)

3. Prepare and Plan (5M's got her countdown calendar, she's changed her yoga schedule)

4. Make it concrete (while there might be elements in the "getting over M" resolution that are vague, the "no contact" part is concrete.)

5. Start Strong "Initial momentum and effort, while difficult to muster, will help pull you through the consuming and painful onset of change"

6. Cultivate Process "Focus on overall success rather than on grand gestures or small slips"; "Track your progress" (That's one thing I think we can count on. 5M will be tracking her progress.)

7. Recover from Lapses (We're already seeing this.)

8. Acknowledge Success

Pay-it-forward said...

Yes, they are a rabid little bunch, at least, some of them are...

Agatha, first, congratulations on the plunge into cosmetic surgery. What a good move on your part! I can't wait until next we meet! I myself have never braved such a thing; botox is where I draw the line.

The pool guy may not be as bad as some think, and you Aggie, seem to have taken a strong dislike to him.
I met one of the nicest people ever, when he made what I perceived to be snide comments about my appearance. But he was just nervous. He couldn't think what to say, choked up, and latched onto the first topic available. I had a reaction similar to yours. But I kept up the acquaintence. And he became one of my best friends! He's helped me more than most people I know, and is kind and generous and smart and fun. So there!
Just to briefly change topics here, I find very sad her reaction to paying off student loans. Paying off debt is part of growing up. Should banks forgive student loans? I agree, many such institutions are scum-sucking *%^%! But they ARE in the business of money; making it for the corporation, and making it for their shareholders.
The bad news is; it doesn't get any easier, the more adult you get. Mortgage? Must pay it. Every month, or guess what? They take your home. Car loan? Oops...didn't make a payment? Why are they towing away my car? Furniture on time payments? Didn't pay this month? Hey! The repo man is at the front door! And he's UGLY!
Point is, you gotta work hard to get stuff in life. An education, material objects, whatever. Even a partner? Hmmmmm.......

Agatha said...

I didn't have any problem with the 5M's venting about the payment of student loans. As for "growing up"/becoming "adult". I'm sorry, but I think that is all overrated. Then again, I'm reexploring my youth at the moment.

4th Dwarf said...

At least 5M can get student loans. For some reason, no one will advance anyone in Pirate School a plug dubloon. Some nonsense about us sailing off and never paying it back.

Did you notice that some idiot told her she should do yoga at home and get a job, but now that comment is gone?

It's good to see that there are people out there who are more smug and judgmental than us along with knowing less about 5M.

Pay-it-forward said...

Yes, the screening of those "kinds" of comments is interesting. What does it mean when one must erase a suggestion to get a job and cut back expenses while a student (gasp)?

Nice post-surgery pic, Ags.

Agatha said...

PIF: It's her blog. She can delete whatever irritates her. That comment irritated me, too. I would have deleted it, too.

Conch Shell said...

First, when someone still lives with the other and answers their shared phone, are they really exes? Perhaps moving into separation mode, but . . .
now, I must say that I have been on the side of the ex-woman, and I imagine that if 5M and Dude become more than friends, the ex-woman will not think well of 5M, and will probably recall this phonecall mixed with a follow-up happy yoga visit, as some kind of duplicitous Y behaviour.
But, you know, pretty-Aggie-in-waiting, maybe it's all that shiny happy share and share alike yoga philosophy coming alive. Spread the energy, heck, we're all one afterall.

coyote said...