2005-07-08

Six Reasons to Love an Asexual

I have become quite fascinated with everything asexual after spending a little time on the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) to conduct research on M. There seems to be a lot of debate about the definition of asexuality. From what I have observed, there are hundreds of categories and subcategories of self-proclaimed asexuals, including the following: those who find sex just yucky; those who have sex 'out of a sense of duty' to satisfy the needs of the sexual with whom they are in a relationship (sound familiar?); those who opt for celibacy instead of acting out on their particular freakish kink; those who just aren't feeling that good -- the chronic fatigue syndrome folks and such.

Here is an extract from one of the forums: 6 Reasons to Love an Asexual

"Okay, so I just wanted to express my thoughts regarding asexuals and how we are not dysfunctional in any sort of way.

For one: We don't have to worry about diseases like HIV or Syphallis. Ew.

For two: Our love is PURE because it's not confused with lust or any kind of sexual chemicals clouding our brains. We love people for them and nothing else.

For three: We are independent people by nature and are complete as people, without the need for sexual bonding to complete us in any way.

For four: If there is any long term research done on asexual people, I bet that they'll be more successfull in their own passions because we don't have sexual relationships to make us dependent or crazy.

For five: FREEDOM to befriend everyone of the opposite sex- no sexual tension! well, from our side anyway. The other side may be quite different, and then you may have problems. I find my friendships are so much more satisfying because I'm not interested in them sexually.

For six: We are a small percentage of the population which some may think is bad but I think it's great! It's like a secret club!

ROCK ON !!!! be proud of the asexual within!!!!"

10 comments:

Corrie said...

Phew! Aggie...what a dissertation to wake up to...
OK, it was 5am here, but 11am B7d@p%s* time. What's a weary person to do?

Since rejoining my native soil and more typical society, I've decided that sexuality is a slippery concept indeed. In my travels I particularly realized that overt, in-your-face "gee-what-a-man-I-am" sexuality is still in style big-time in some places. This equals lots of pictures of nude women ALL OVER THE PLACE. On billboards. On doorways. In magazines. In hotel brochures. In the yellow pages. All seemingly determined to BEND OVER as far as possible. (memo to self: start Yoga classes again)

Yet, at the same time this community is operating with this kind of boring, overt crap in everyone's faces, they seem much more modest, unassuming and polite than North Americans, on a day-to-day, real-life level. They are not as assertive, not as pushy, not as go-getting...but are honest, quite refined, and very, very happy they don't have to stand in banana lines anymore, or turn out for military marches on Saturday mornings (someone else's military).

So, why the bravado about all the "men's clubs?" Why the need to put their so-called sexuality so very far out there?

Well. We all know never to judge a book by its cover, and that appearances can be oh, so deceptive. I think they need to put on this sexy front because they were repressed so long, and they think it's cool to act this way. But underneath, they are just like us. Kind of moderate, like to have it availalbe, but not staring us in the face every time we take a bus ride, or our kids to the park.

What does this mean in terms of 5M and her bevy? Let's see, let's see, let's see...

Does 5M really dream of sweaty sex? Or is it just the thing to do, to pretend that because it's cool? Is M gay? Or is it the image he wants to give 5M, whom he apparently wants little to do with on a deep, connected level? Faking asexuality can come in handy sometimes...
Hmmmm...and what about 5M's REAL orientation? Perhaps she's REALLY hiding something? Meow?
Now where was that number for Yoga?

coyote said...

Ahem. I have just realized that Aggie and Waggie form between them the makings of a poetic interlude. Well, okay, more doggerel, really. But, hey, I'm a dog. With a poetic soul. I feel some seriously bad rhymin' welling up from deep within..... but not just now, perhaps.

Right. The subject was asexuality, and I'm wondering about the Muse's professed urge for hot sweaty s(ex). I mean, she claimed to be dissatisfied by M's total lack of interest in that area -- in fact, supposedly broke up with him because of it -- yet I see nobody else on the event horizon. I mean, the lcp was willing and presumably able, and she blew him off, (figuratively speaking, you mojo-obsessives!) to return to the safe asexuality of hangin' fire by hangin' with M. Who the hell's the asexual here? Is M. the only one?

You have a point, Wag, about the possible motives behind 5M having placed sex so overtly 'out there'. Is it advertising? Protective colouration? Or a really good way of actually scaring off any potential suitors of depth?

And speaking of protective colouration, I see bunnies. Drool. 'Scuse me for a minute....

Corrie said...

Oh Coyote, you connoisseur, you.

Now, will those wabbits be WITH saskatoon berry/wild escarole stuffing, or WITHOUT?

Hmmmm, and while you're contemplating that choice, may I add that I've never before been alluded to as a possible "interlude," or even the partial makings of one. But actually, now that you mention it, the jet-lag is making me feel somewhat "holey," all swiss-cheesy, rubber-legged, and in the words of the newly-morphed glamour girl-Aggie: "stoned."
NOW, wouldn't those wabbits taste good THAT way?!

coyote said...

Huh? Do you mean stuffed with swiss cheese, wearing rubber legs, or eaten under the influence of quasi-medicinal kinnickinnick munchies? (There's a fine old Blackfoot word to conjure with...)

As it happens, they tasted fine without any of the above, thank ya very much. Good thing, too. There's very little decent escarole in the neighbourhood, what with all the rain recently. Rubber legs, I'm not sure about.

Anyway, one last thing had occured to me before I was distracted by ambulatory lunch. Our muse says she's confused about things when she doesn't blog regularly, yet her past couple of weeks' postings have been the most irregular in her public history.

So is she not blogging because she's confused, or confused because she's not blogging? Yeah, yeah, I know what she says. But think about it. Chicken? Or egg? Not that I wouldn't eat either in a hot minute...

Agatha said...

I was just hoping that Francis Heaney would be inspired to do a 6 things cartoon with this...I guess he's out of town right now. On the other hand, he might be afraid of offending the asexual community. Some of them seem to be a bit sensitive about what the sexuals are saying about them.

4th Dwarf said...

I find this asexuality topic fascinating. It's one of those things I find hard to believe. But there are a number of such things I find hard to believe, but have been forced to.

Like golf. Otherwise sane people seem to love hitting a little ball and following it through a grassy field. Go figure.

What I wonder about asexuals is: where do they get the incentive to do anything? Once they've met their basic needs, why try harder? If you're not trying to land a big fish, why bait the hook?

Is it because they're not driven to write songs, novels and poetry that we know so little about true asexuals?

I think it's an open question as to whether M is sexual or not, but if he's not, maybe that explains why he's not driven to get out of school and start being something.

Meanwhile, I can say what I want about 5M not wanting messy sex like she says she does, but she's certainly driven to producing something that will get her noticed.

Corrie said...

Hey, Hey, HEY!
Watch what you say about golf, buddy. You never know who's a closet golfer, right? Could be as high as 10% of the population, or so I've heard.
Not that I like golf, of course.
Honest, I've never even tried it.
Well, maybe there was that one time...
And then there was the time...
Oh, forget it.

Conch Shell said...

There's also the Buddhist reason for asexuality. . .
If excitement isn't channeled and fulfilled in a sexual way, then excitement at life in general can grow to portions previously unknown.
People really advanced at yoga practice it, as part of their yogic training. Maybe, given M.'s desire to excel at everything, his asexuality has more to do with being a yogi master.

coyote said...

'Cept he doesn't seem to excel at sex...

4th Dwarf said...

Now, now, Coyote, p'raps M is channeling his sexual excitement into his doctoral studies.

Conchie, I find your posting to be very interesting. I may even try this idea out.

But in order to channel sexual excitement into something else, the sexual excitement has to be there in the first place, right?

Now for a randy pirate, that's no problem. But for some sex-disinterested microphysicist, perhaps there's no excitement to be channeled. What then?