2005-07-27

Effort to find non 5M, non wank topic

Do you think Brad Pitt is sleeping with Angelina Jolie? And if so, do you think it started before his break-up with Jennifer Anniston? And, doesn't BP think he might be a bit superficial, going from prettiest TV celebrity to prettiest movie celebrity? Personally, I feel some respect for Cheryl Crow, going with Lance Armstrong. Both bring interesting and different dynamics to their relationship.
And did Michael Jackson get away with it? And, if he does have pedophilic tendencies, will he manage to quit them now that the light is shining on him? Will he at some point say: it's just too expensive for me to do this.
And is it just me, or has Johnny Depp turned from sexy young actor to plain old creepy weirdo?
And Madonna has really aged, don't you think?

8 comments:

Corrie said...

Conchie: I don't know the answers to any of those questions. But...

*(A)When I wake (D)up, in my (A)makeup (D),
(A)It's too(D) early
(F#)For that dress.
(A) Wilted and (D)faded,
(A)Somewhere in Hollywood(D)
(A)I'm glad I came (D)here,
(F#)With your pound of flesh...**

*From that lovely song, Celebrity Skin, by everyone's favorite artist, Hole.

**Album of the same name, Celebrity Skin.

The Independent Fonzie Observer said...

Aaaayyyy! ESIers, consider me on standby.

4th Dwarf said...

Now, I'm right glad to have the Fonz around. This metablog could use some cool.

Perhaps after he gets the jukebox going he could get that Mojo button working too.

Conchie, I know there are some out there who figure if we haven't jumped the shark with the Chair's abdication, the phony 5m, the Siren songs and everything else, this latest posting of yours is a clear sign of desperation to bolster sagging ratings.

But I disagree.

I find your questions interesting. Not because I know or care about the answers, but I wonder why we've not heard 5M speculate on any of them.

Although it would seem she reads the paper at the BH every morning, she rarely discusses the news. A few words on the treatment of Belinda when she crossed the floor and then some alarm over the bombs in London.

Perhaps she doesn't care about Brad, Jennifer, Angelina, Johnny, and MJ; but I suspect she does take an interest. It's just that she feels bringing them up would lower the tone of her blog.

Conch Shell said...

I suspect you're final statement is right, 4D.
Part of what I'm asking here, through these questions, is why do we singularly care so much about 5M and M. As IO expressed very well earlier (that should have been a topic thread), “Celebritydom is the popular currency of our time.”
We’ve turned these two into our own private Pitt and Jolie drama. Because we discovered them, made them into the celebrity figures of our time.
Who are these people to us? Is it not the same as discussing celebrity gossip in detail. We want to be above that, but you know we are not.
Music, politics, religion, we don’t care to divert much to. We’re bored by that. But our own little anonymous celebrity is special to us.
Yet, you don't want to admit that you care whether OJ shot his wife.

The Independent Observer said...

Perhaps we are fascinated with the A-list celebrities to some degree. But they are everyone's stars. The 5M is more interesting because she is our exclusive celebrity. And since we don't know much about her, really, there's an air of mystery we will not find with the Brads and the Angelinas. The 5M offers a sort of reality-TV version of celebrity, and this is a big part of her appeal for us.

Agents A and O said...

Yesterday, the CRTF undertook to look into the possibility that this Emetic Abhoria character is on lavalife.

Our research department has since gone flat out on this effort, leaving us little time for actual content review (And while we appreciate the efforts of ordinary citizens to maintain order in our absence, we cannot condone acts of vigilantism, especially it results in the creation of words such as "splogs" and "splooges").

We have not yet found any concrete trace of A_A on LL. After perusing local males 30-36 on the dating side of LL, our research director was heard to remark, "What a cringe-inducing bunch of opening lines. It's a wonder any guy in this town gets laid!"

However, our researchers have found a young man with Ottawa links at the following sites:

http://www.cyberosiX.com/Xporiatica.html

http://www.smXllpressswapmeet.com/creator.php?name=mXrcel

[Note: We are providing text for you to copy and paste to avoid tracking software giving a channel back to this site.

The letter X has replaced lower-case a in several places to avoid this site coming up on a google vanity search.]

Conch Shell said...

I like MG. Maybe one day the sweet well-meaning and artistic soul will cartoon on our site.

Agatha said...

Forget Angela Jolie, Madonna and this Aporia character! Our former Chair is doing important research that might apply to the 5M and M.