2005-05-03

Lots of fodder

She's back. A new guy, "N", and a complaint that she can't meet women. I was wondering if she experienced her lack of women friends as a loss or it was what she wanted because she likes being with men more.

Conch Shell, I hope you're not getting too many ideas here. I trust the Ethics Committee is paying attention.

This business of M and the compliments breaks my heart. But I suppose not complimenting her on her swampwater eyes and the cat scratch are what keeps her around.

8 comments:

The Chair said...

5M sure runs into a lot of guys she's dated. I think she needs to break out of her element. You know, drop the yoga and running, and pick up something completely different.

And this "I'm a nice person" bit. Well, I think she's nice to M but the troubling times she has with other women suggests that she probably needs to work on that aspect of her life.

4th Dwarf said...

I think it was good person.

Hypothesis: People who are sexually attracted to someone will put up with behaviour that the unattracted will not put up with.

Corollary 1: Sexually attractive people will get mixed feedback about their behaviour.

Corollary 2: Poorly behaved sexually attractive people will gravitate towards those who are attracted to them

Conch Shell said...

Hmm, very interesting points, Chair and 4th Dwarf.
She's reminding more and more of someone I used to be close friends with.
Why is she in love with M, by the way. She thinks he's depressed, depressing, not giving, emotionally unavailable, and a bunch of other bad things. This clearly has something to do with women vs men. It seems to me that when women sleep with a man more than three times they suddenly fall in love. But men don't have that chemical brain reaction.
I don't think she loves M. Come on.

4th Dwarf said...

That three times rule doesn't seem to work for every woman.

And has 5M slept with M three times? I haven't spent enough time in the archives to know.

coyote said...

Hello, Conch Shell. Your opening post adds a welcome note to this growing chorus... glad you've cast up.

4th Dwarf, I wonder if the 'three times, fall in love' hypothesis may not have more to do with maturity and expectations than with gender? At some point early in their relationship careers, hasn't nearly everybody 'fallen in love' with some inappropriate person that they happen to have slept with, because, well, they feel that they should?

Sleeping with someone is very risky, especially if you're unsure of your self. To justify the great risk, we need to give ourselves a great reward. And we try to grasp it even as our internal alarm bells go off...

For 5M, falling in love is that prize. Of course, she admits -- overtly and in contextual comments -- that she makes lousy choices in her lovers. So, the prize she tries to take conceals the trap she's made for herself.

Agatha said...

Coyote - You've added some rich new complexity to "chemical brain reaction" hypothesis. I'm wondering if the 5M needs to read or has read that new chicklit bible called "He's Just Not That Into You"...Her latest post raised some other questions for me:
1) She suggests that her being a "good person" is "fact"...??
2) Are "cool women" really that hard to meet in Ottawa?
4th Dwarf - How do you use bold and italics on this thing?

4th Dwarf said...

Unfortunately, I can't show you how to bold and italic here because all I'd do is bold and italic the things that were telling you how to do it.

But here's a tip. You start with one of the tags with the < and the > before the formatted section and close it with the same tag with a / in front of the letter but after the <. i for italic; b for bold and this is what the a does .

Back to 5M. Supposing she is a "good person", why should that it's a "fact" lessen the compliment value? She seems to indicate that the swampy eyes comment also was factual. I guess it's that someone has noticed something about her that few notice.

Perhaps that's why I'd prefer to be told I'm a good person, but don't get much out of compliments on my eyes. Everyone notices my gorgeous peepers, but not many people catch on that I'm a good person. It's the price we bitter, sarcastic curmudgeons pay.

coyote said...

I, too, am interested in the way the 'good person' line is averred as 'fact'. That would suggest it's proven, in 5M's mind. We do not know how, we are merely asked to accept it. There are hints in our muse's body of work that suggest that she believes that everything she writes there is absolutely true. That would presuppose that she is capable of being totally objective about herself.

I find this difficult to wrap my head around. But then again, every month I feel compelled to howl at full moons. Others may not be able to wrap their heads around that little eccentricity.