Health Canada Listeria Update

Q: The Stanley Cup was recently on tour in my town, and I kissed it. Do I have to worry about being infected by listeria?

A: You are safe! Listeria virus shelf-life is 8 months. The Stanley Cup has not been in contact with any Maple Leaf product in over 40 years.

Thank you for your inquiry.

A fist-bump to Peter H. for this timely contribution.


Dave1949 said...

Very funny.

At least the cup has been in contact with the Maple Leafs unlike some eastern Ontario team which shall remain nameless. And cup less again this year.

Jennifer (It Ain't Meat, Babe) said...

That is the most Canadian joke I've ever heard.

XUP said...

I remember this joke from when I was a teenager.

The Independent Observer said...

Dave1949: I will duly ask the NHL to erase the Ottawa Senators' Stanley Cup wins in 1920, 1921, 1923 and 1927 from their official records. Thanks for pointing out the league's error. Oh, and we will no longer mention the Senators' six pre-NHL Cup wins in 1903, 1904, 1905, 1906, 1909 and 1911.

Jennifer, to paraphrase some CBC oldtimer, we ESIs strive to be as Canadian as possible under the circumstances.

And XUP, thanks for punctuating the Maple Laffs' longstanding futility.

RealGrouchy said...

I don't get it. Who's Stanley, and why would he be stuffing his antique cup with leaves? Are leaves an aphrodisiac, hence people wanting to kiss it?

- RG>