2009-04-18

Overtaxed: coyote's late post

When I was a younger, dumber doggy, I mistakenly signed up for a Social Insurance Number.

Imagine my complete disappointment when I found that I'd misheard the pitch (an old inner-ear problem, exacerbated by an unfortunate one-track mind...) and realized that I now had to deal with tax returns rather than cat returns.

Imagine my further chagrin when I found out that SINs indeed condemn you to Hell. In Revenue Canada's eyes, once you're in, you fry forever. No matter if you're a semimythical coyote with no visible means of support barring fast paws and a larcenous soul. One youthful moment of misguided drooliness dooms you to file annual tax forms in perpetuity.

I want to make it clear that I have no objection to income taxes themselves. (This places me firmly in the minority back my old Alberta stomping grounds. I digress.) But aside from the fact that I don't actually pay them, I believe the social safety net and other services that they finance make this a far better country than the alternative.

No, it's the diabolical forms. Every year, those twisted <redacteds> at Revenue Canada change them. The net result is always pretty much the same, but those annual new and ummm, interesting, calculation methods to arrive there, drive me freakin' crazy.

No hackneyed comments, please, about what a short trip that is. I shall nap now. Awaken me in refund season.

3 comments:

XUP said...

You DO surprise me. I am the least math-friendly person I know, but I wade through this stuff eagerly (yes eagerly) every year so that I can get back all the money the government has borrowed from me during the year. And as soon as possible.

Woodsy said...

It's because he can't easily count on his toes, 'cause they're all covered in fur that he hates it... and that's the truth! (I know it's the truth 'cause a cat told me so...

coyote said...

That sounds like an unusually intelligent cat. Perhaps I'll converse with it for a moment before I eat it...