Emergency Meeting Minutes: Next stop, Bulk Barn

Present: Aggie, The Chair, Conch Shell, Coyote, Fourth Dwarf, The Independent Observer, Woodsy.

Special Guests: Dishevelled Man, Harmony, La Belle Chanteuse, Painted Stick

Venue: The Somewhat Unusual Spot.

Once food and beverages are lustily consumed, the meeting comes to order.

Conch Shell and Painted Stick depart. Conch Shell assures Fourth Dwarf she will "probably" blog soon.

Coyote moves to hang sewage-splattered 4D out to dry.

4D: I thought there was a standing order to that effect.

Aggie and Woodsy make a joint joy-spreading proposal as an homage to Mae Callen: knitting items and leaving them around town. For instance, statues could be outfitted with earmuffs.

4D: On the evening of Sept. 18 or early Sept. 19, all statues could be dressed as pirates.

Coyote: How about a new product, Eau de Joy Perfume?

Woodsy asks The Chair, "What are you going to make?"

The Chair: (awaking from nap) Make what? Er, a coffin for the mayor.

Aggie: A coffin is too negative. We must brainstorm. There are are no bad ideas, except yours. Besides, two negatives don't make a positive.

4D asks Aggie, "Is this about ideas, or you getting your bon mots in the minutes?" He then asks The Chair if he plans to blog any time soon.

The Chair: Maybe. I haven't been inspired.

Aggie, Dishevelled Man, The Chair, Harmony and La Belle Chanteuse depart.

Woodsy confesses she is concerned about missing Project Runway Canada. She corrects herself, saying that actually 4D (redacted). She also declares that the waitress is a cutie, to the general agreement of the others.

4D suggests (redacted) may be our new muse. He notes that she writes with candour about her revolving-door bedroom escapades. Further, he cites a recent incident in which she described texting a friend about Mr. VIP's hydraulic problems, all while he was sorting out his mechanics during a timeout in the bathroom.

Coyote wonders if she has any clue that people are actually reading her blog.

IO: She may be a virtual exhibitionist.

Coyote: She is.

The IO then expresses concern the ESIs have stooped to pandering, making a tawdry burlesque of the blog by writing about cats and real estate simply because these are the subjects that draw the most visitors.

4D: We are not pandering enough! There's been nothing about real estate lately.

4D and Coyote suggest metablogging cat sites.

IO: I think this screams creative bankruptcy. To go from the 5M to four paws is simply wrong.

4D recalls that even the 5M blogged about kittens. He adds, "You have forgotten the heritage the 5M has left us."

The IO, clearly struggling to come up with anything better, suggests a series of Overheard segments, such as Overheard on OCTranspo.

There is agreement the blog is best when we play off of each other's posts.

IO: What about liveblogging?

Discussion turns to the techniques of liveblogger Kady O'Malley, a former 4D Blog Crush.

4D: We could each cover an event in our own way.

Coyote suggests taking the OTrain to Bulk Barn as an ESI field trip, after which we would each blog the event in our own way.

Woodsy declares that she would like to use the proposed field trip to buy the mayor a jockstrap. Indeed, this gives a whole new meaning to supporting the mayor.

As the meeting begins to wind down, Woodsy invites the others to stroke her unusually textured notebook. Without hesitation, they do.

Woodsy: I'm a very tactile person.

The ESIs agree, it's all about the senses.

The meeting is adjourned.


4th Dwarf said...

Former crush?

My affections are not that fleeting, Mr. Observer.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's in good taste to talk about His Honour The Lord Mayor's honourable johnson in such an irreverential manner

coyote said...

I believe the taste of His Nibs' jockstrap is something we'd all like to avoid...