Are the MPs Wearing their Tin Foil Hats?

I worry that our MPs and Cabinet Ministers are not wearing their tin foil hats. I was reading a back issue of Hansard's on the bus yesterday when I discovered that some of our opposition members are not wearing them.

As any longtime reader of this blog knows, tin foil hats are necessary to prevent mind control through electro-magnetic rays. (Please keep in mind that while we say "tin foil", aluminum foil is most commonly used, but any electricity conducting metal will do.)

While the copper roofs on the Parliament Buildings should go a long way to preventing a need for foil hats, it is still alarming to thing that our leaders may be vulnerable to mind control.

How do we know that some are not wearing their caps? They as much as say so:

For example, on 26 Sept 2006, Liberal MP Wayne Easter asked about a campaign to undermine the Canadian Wheat Board "using fake letters, manipulating the media, stacked government task forces and circumventing the laws of Canada."

Replying for the government, Chuck Strahl, Minister for the Canadian Wheat Board, revealed that Easter was not wearing a protective cap:

Mr. Speaker, I am surprised the member could say that without wearing his tinfoil hat on a grassy knoll.

On 22 Feb 2007, Minister Strahl reports that MP Easter is once again not wearing his cap after a question about ballots:

Mr. Speaker, I think that the hon. member has his tinfoil cap well removed today.

But was the Hon. Chuck Strahl wearing his tinfoil cap? David Anderson, Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister for the Canadian Wheat Board, confirmed not only that he was, but that he had additional facial coverage:

If members take the time to read the motion, they will see that the minister the other day referred to him through his tinfoil hat.

Almost as bad as not wearing a tinfoil hat is wearing one that does not fit properly. This appeared to be the case on 26 Feb 2008 with some NDP members as pointed out by Peter MacKay after a question from NDP member Libby Davies about a secret agreement with the U.S. Armed Forces:

It sounds to me as if those tinfoil hats are getting a little tight down there.

This problem had spread to the Liberals by 11 March. After a question from Liberal Mark Holland about the possibility of Ministerial involvement in the decision by the OPP to not forward an investigation file on possible conversations between Mayor Larry and John Baird to the RCMP. The Hon. Jason Kenney, Secretary of State for Multiculturalism and Canadian Identity, alerts the Speaker of the House to the danger:

Mr. Speaker, we see the tinfoil hats getting a little tight again over there.

Have you spotted the consistent pattern? Liberals and NDP members either not wearing their foil caps or wearing them improperly. Meanwhile, the Conservative members of the New Government (Can we call them the Old Government yet?) were wearing their tinfoil caps and doing their best to draw attention of the opposition members who were leaving themselves open to mind-control.

Perhaps you are wondering if the Conservatives continue to prudently wear their tinfoil caps during the campaign season. I believe they do, or that at least one local Tory does.

Last week, Avaaz.org released ads attacking the Conservative position on the environment. While Avaaz claimed they had raised funds for these ads in Canada from their 300,000 members, and that they had cleared the ads with Elections Canada, John Baird was not fooled.

He smelled something wrong. Or more specifically, he smelled billionaire mystery man George Soros behind it all and sent out a press release titled: “SHADOWY FOREIGN ORGANIZATION ATTEMPTING TO INFLUENCE CANADIAN ELECTION” This may alarm you, but I urge you to relax because:

  1. Baird has made a formal complaint so we can be sure that any nefariosity will be dealt with;
  2. We can't expect all the billionaires to support the Tories; and
  3. Baird and the other Tory candidates must be wearing their foil caps or they would have been led astray by the mind control rays.

Attention Sorosophobes/philes: We’ve hit the big time, y’all by Kady O'Malley October 6th, 2008 at 11:48 am

Avaaz.ca vs. Baird: The Shadowy Foreign Organization strikes back! by Kady O'Malley October 6th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

How To:


coyote said...

At last... John Baird's hair make sense to me! Does this mean the apocalypse is nigh...?

The Chair said...

The Bloc figured this out long ago, but still need to work out the kinks:


The Independent Observer said...

Nice photo of the environment minister. He is a smart man. He understands tinfoil, and how it belongs on a large turkey.