2008-09-06

Avoiding the elephant in the womb


On a recent visit to one of my ancestral homelands, I met up with an old friend who is with child. She was waiting for me on the sidewalk outside the little bakery and, being one day past her due date, I had no trouble spotting her from quite a distance. I'm sure several people using Google Earth also saw her.

But I'm glad I knew in advance that she was expecting. I still remember chatting with a colleague about her children at a Christmas party, motioning to her belly and asking, "And when's the next one due?"

I might as well have said, "I hear you have AIDS! How's that going?" or "What's it really like being a neo-Nazi?"

Her terse reply: "I'm not sure we will have another child."

Things have become even more complicated now that men are starting to give birth.

Last spring I was mildly chastised by an acquaintance in Vancouver who asked why I hadn't mentioned anything about her pregnancy when I saw her the previous day at a conference. To be honest, I just didn't notice. But even if I had, what's a guy to say? Over a drink, she and two other women agreed that none of them would blurt out, "So, you're having a baby!" if they weren't really sure.

As my Grade 12 chemistry teacher probably still says, "When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me."

Image: http://www.theflorentine.net/, Issue no. 85

6 comments:

zoom said...

Best headline ever.

coyote said...

Yep. We have to hand it to the IO - quiet, yet deadly.

The Independent Observer said...

Quiet but deadly, Coyote?! Is that a reversion to giggly Grade 4 lingo?

coyote said...

...I was referring to your stealth sense of humour. But if ya want giggly Grade 4, I'm sure somebody around here can accomodate...

Woodsy said...

You had better not be pointing your floppy little snout at me regarding that last comment, Coyote, or I'll kick your skinny little dog shins!

coyote said...

You do fart jokes? Who knew?