RNDP 12: Romantic Gestures that Score with Audrey

closeup of a romantic picnic

the picnic by Norma Desmond

Audrey, ESI's cultural ambassador, reports on recent fieldwork experiences and the results of listening to sage counsel:

Romantic gestures – Part 1

My boyfriends have typically been very reluctant to make romantic gestures. I always felt that it was not for me to tell a boyfriend to be more demonstrative. I reasoned that some men are just naturally more demonstrative than others. I decided that maybe the kind of men who were attracted to me were bold and sexy but not romantic.

A recent trip to Italy, though, caused me to question my theories. I had several dates with a bold and sexy Italian man. I was surprised to find that he was also a romantic. This man played romantic Latin music in the car; he took me for a cocktail at the stylish Café de Paris; he suggested a sunset stroll at the Piazzale Michelangelo and kissed me passionately at a particularly scenic spot; he shared his gelato with me; and he used flowery Italian phrases to tell me how much he desired me.

When I arrived back in Ottawa, I told my friends about my dates. Fourth Dwarf counselled me to choose an “attentive” man for a boyfriend, but to choose a man closer to home.

Well, I took his advice and my new boyfriend is the most romantic man I have ever met. He tells me frequently how much he loves being with me, and he makes many romantic gestures. I thought I would share some of these romantic gestures, in the hope that it will improve someone else’s search for true love.

Audrey’s top-ten list of romantic gestures

  1. Buy her flowers – even carnations (my boyfriend gave me gerberas on our 4th date)
  2. Buy her chocolate (esp. milk-chocolate) [4D: We're going to get letters about this one.]
  3. Take her to the movies and only let her pay for the popcorn.
  4. Have her over for a BBQ – just the two of you.
  5. Meet her for lunch on a workday.
  6. Take her for a romantic dinner (we went to Trattoria Caffe Italia on our 5th date).
  7. Drive her home from work, even if you won’t be spending the evening together.
  8. Visit her family with her and act like you are not anxious to leave after one hour.
  9. Make her tea.
  10. Tell her she is beautiful.


Pandora said...

MILK chocolate? okay, but dark chocolate would be even more romantic

XUP said...

I’m so sad to read this list. It’s so 1960s Harlequin – flowers, chocolates, dinner, cliched compliments?? This doesn’t say romance to me. This says someone’s been watching too many Doris Day/Rock Hudson movies. Number 8 is close to something real, but if he has to “act” interested in your family it’s just as patronizing as the rest of the list. If a man needs a stranger's list to follow, it’s all pointless anyway. Real romance comes out of such an intense feeling of joy, love and affection that it demands some sort of unique spontaneous demonstrative gesture. (PS – if you want to romance me right now maybe you could update my link?)

Harmony said...

Whoa, wait just one minute here. What's wrong with Doris Day/Rock Hudson? I mean, er, other than he was gay, so I guess Doris was the wrong partner for him...
But other than that, I like the list, at least parts of it. I hate tea, so making me a cup of that wouldn't be good.
But flowers, dinner, movie...it's all good!
I'm with Pandora on the chocolate thing...dark would be slightly better, but all in all, I think you've created a splendid list Audrey! Now, where is that Harlequin romance I was reading...?

4th Dwarf said...

XUP, you may have saved Audrey's new fellow from a serious beating. I've been hearing talk from the lads about how he's setting a standard that is getting them in trouble.

But I'm afraid to admit that this is one of those rare occasions where I agree with Harmony. My favourite of those movies is the one where Paula Prentiss plays Doris Day and they are at a fishing tournament. Every time Rock kisses her the movie cuts to a scene of a head on crash between two locomotives. Gosh, I loved that movie.

As for the chocolate controversy, I'll have to make note that this is one of those things a fellow should subtly learn on the first date.

4th Dwarf said...

p.s. XUP, I updated your link, but isn't that so 2004 BoingBoing?

Pandora said...

I'm with the romancers on this one... the romancier the better. But I think XUP may be objecting to fakers and players. I'm sure she'd be in favour of a sincere heartfelt gesture.... such as vacuuming...

Anonymous said...

and about the chocolate - and the flowers - steer clear of stereotypes - you got it 4D (you are *so* dreamy... sigh...): look for clues about your beloved's preferences!

XUP said...

I adore Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies, too. I just don’t want to live in one is all I’m saying. The flowers/dinner/movie/chocolate thing is so boring, so unimaginative, so lacking in real romance. (like Pandora and anonymous say) It’s the sort of thing a guy does when he thinks it’s time he does something romantic, or else, and has heard somewhere that dames like that sort of crap. – not something a guy who is completely smitten, head-over-heels in love does because he just needs to do something to express that.

4D – Thanks & I promise no more boingboing moves.

Woodsy said...

Does it really matter what a fella does to romance his girl as long as it is sincere and from the heart... Audrey, your man is a true prince!

zoom said...

Like Pandora said, maybe xup was objecting to formulaic, insincere romantic gestures. Authentic romantic gestures vary from person to person and from couple to couple and even over time, and Audrey's man seems to have expressed his head-over-heelsness in a way that resonated romantically with Audrey.

(I'm happy for you Audrey.)

Conch Shell said...

I like love letters. I think they're very romantic.