2008-05-13

Taxi Driver Story I: My Don Juan


A few nights ago, after a date with a cute pixie, I hailed a taxi to go home.

“Hello pretty lady,” the young, swarthy taxi driver amiably says even before my itsy bitsy rear end is comfortably positioned on the seat.

Hmmm, he’s good, I think. He’s managed to cover up creepiness in his voice completely. So, what’s he up to? Is this just an innocent comment? Something he says to all the women who get into his cab?

He starts chatting. I learn that he is a full-time taxi driver and a part time student, and that he is 20 years younger than I am.

Then, somehow in the midst of talking about school and the courses he is taking, he turns on the overhead light, spins his head around to face me, flutters his long black eye-lashes at me and declares, “I prefer mature women!”

He turns back to facing the road, and turns off the light. I hear him chuckle.

“You prefer mature women? How mature?” I question.

He turns around again, the light goes on once more, and he presents me with a pout this time. “Your age.” he says softly.

I can’t help but feel that this young Don Juan pup has taken lessons from 4D in wooing women.

He returns to a safe driving position, the light is turned off again, and another chuckle is perceived.

“And why do you prefer older women?” I ask, determined to control the conversation.

“I like that they are experienced, that they do not have inhibitions, that they never have headaches, and that they take care of me…”

“So, are you married?” I ask, knowing fully well that he is. He wears a wedding band.

No chuckle this time. He is serious as he says, “I don’t know why, but I feel comfortable telling you this. I don’t usually tell women this (I don’t believe him), but my wife is cold. She is a good mother and a good wife, but she is cold. You understand what I mean, right?”

It’s a long ride and he continues, asking me directly at one point if I will consider being his lover. The overhead light is turned on many times, and many times he twists around and purrs, “Look at my lips… Don’t you want to know more about these lips? Don’t you want kisses from these lips?”

I am quick at deflecting, and getting him to talk more about his wife and children.

He starts laughing after a while, and resorts to chatting in a friendly manner. He stops pursuing me, and wants to know what kissing means to me. It is a serious question.

When we arrive at my place, he tries one last time, “Are you sure that you are not interested?”

“Yes, I am sure.” I repeat confidently.

“Listen,” I say, “think about this when you go home to your wife tonight. You claim that you like older women, correct? Well, that beautiful young wife of yours will one day be a mature woman. She will be the kind of woman you desire.”

He smiles at me. I suspect that I have made a point.

As I hand him the fare, he takes my hand and kisses it gently and says goodnight.

I am not offended. He has conceded defeat in a gentlemanly manner.

But, I am left to wonder about one part of the conversation… what does kissing really mean to most people?

8 comments:

Wandering Coyote said...

Um, I'm more concerned that this guy now knows where you live...

zoom said...

No wonder I prefer to walk home in the dark rather than take a taxi. Seriously, I think creepy cabbies like him should lose their taxi licenses.

XUP said...

Another creepy Ottawa taxi tale to add to my files. I would have exited that cab after the first inappropriate comment, but then I'm not an ethereal wood sprite.

coyote said...

Maybe he was conceding defeat. Or maybe he was just tryin' to lay those cheatin' two-lips on you, any way he could...

Harmony said...

Boy, Woodsy, your description of this cabbie, along with my recent experience -- wherein a cab driver refused to take a credit card in payment, screaming at me that Mastercard charges him "ONE DOLLAR AND TWENTY-FIVE CENTS" each transaction (he had actually hung a sign on the sun visor advertising this fact, but I'd missed it)-- convinces me to take alternate transport from now on.

Woodsy said...

Wandering Coyote, Zoom, XUP, and Harmony, great comments - thanks for sharing! But, really, this guy was not creepy, just a player... and not a very good one at that...

In defense of taxi drivers, whom I rely on for rides (I don't own a car), I have only encountered 2 scary, and one angry driver in years of riding in taxis... the rest were very professional... wait till you read Taxi Story II, you will feel better!

So, what about the kissing question???

Coyote: You may have a point there... is that how "wolves" and coyotes act in general?

Woodsy said...

Woodsy's Taxi Cam: That's him, that's my taxi driver... see he's not creepy at all...

pandora said...

oh, so much to comment on...

yes, he is creepy. He appeared not to be at first, but he undisputably is... woodsy, consider him a creep-in-training, honing his skills on l'il ole you

now to the more important question regarding kissing... shall we take our inspiration from 4D's research informant and call it "spending time with others' lips on mine for the purpose of having fun"...?