2008-05-25

RNDP 7: Beyond the salmon skin bikini

Time out! Enough about revolutionary new paradigms that require actual thinking - or, worse yet, actual change - by would-be daters. Too much work and not enough profit potential for ESI Inc.

Instead, let's go the Cosmopolitan Magazine route. Heck, they have at least a half-dozen revolutionary new dating paradigms per issue, if the covers at the checkout line are any guide. Most seem to involve trying new (allegedly) kinky moves, bathing suits or lingerie - so no real thought on the part of the user. Easy!

One possibility for at least half of the population hit all the local throw-way news tabloids just this past week. (Oops. The Petfinder ain't a throwaway? Who knew?) I speak, of course, of the salmon skin bikini. Why this is suddenly "new" is anybody's guess. Or more likely the work of a really frenetic and dumb-ass-lucky publicist - because as Time Magazine notes here, they first showed up in 2003. So five years ago, all you loser lifestyle editors who bought into the latest hype campaign! But hey, with any luck, the reference in the heading on this post'll get us mega hits from unsuspecting Googlers looking for the (heh...) skinny.

Anyway,, I'm thinking women who want to wear scales to find true love - you know who you are - are neglecting the traditional values. I mean, of course, not fish but reptiles. Ummm, not the ones you've dated.

Imagine yourself in one of our comfy Mumumelons®, complemented by an alluring, accompanying line of fitted snakeskin lingerie/swimming separates! To whit: CoBra® tops and Aspanty® bottoms, currently under development in Aggie's fertile fabric lab. I understand the snag so far is tanning the snake skins properly - the scaly buggers keep rubbing each other's backs with SPF 90, every time we try to hit 'em with the sunlamps...

6 comments:

4th Dwarf said...

Coyote, do I take it that your suggestion for a revolutionary new dating paradigm is that people wear skimpy swimsuits?

At what dating phase would this take place? The asking? or the actual date?

coyote said...

Check Cosmo. It seems to be the leading authority on this kind of stuff...

4th Dwarf said...

Coyote, if you use the RNDP brand in your posting title, a certain amount of scholarship is expected on your part. This includes reading and reporting on your source material, not asking others to do it for you.

coyote said...

Tell ya what, Shorty: in the interests of dividing labour efficiently here, how 'bout you continue with the certain amount of scholarship, and I'll keep covering the mindless titillation and cheap cracks...

Woodsy said...

Hee, hee, "cracks", that's a naughty word, Coyote... isn't it?!

coyote said...

Why, yes it is, Woodsy! Thank you for your scholarly contribution to this discussion. I'm sure we've now raised the tone of the RNDP brand exactly the way the Dwarf wanted us to...