2008-01-17

Living Like a (Reformed) Addict

A few things have inspired me in the last few days that I'd like to share with you. As you have probably gathered, I've been in a creative rut. I have not been crafting. I'm trying to write, but not getting anywhere. I can barely get my ass out to exercise. I have been going to some free meditation classes down the street in a desperate search for inspiration and enlightenment. The meditation helps me just softly and gently embrace the rut rather than dig myself deeper in the rut, which I am rather good at.

I've come to realize that I'm an addict. I'm not pathologizing myself here. In fact, I think there are lots of us out there being addicts of something. We are a culture of addicts. Good for you if you manage not to be one.

Because I'm an addict, I've decided I should strive to live like one. This means, I have to adopt the "every day is a new day" attitude that addicts do. It also means I need to change the way I do things to accommodate my addictions. Chuck Close is a good example of someone who has done this. He rejects the idea of "inspiration" and just gets down to business, grid-by-grid. Julia Child is helping me, too. She could not be more passionate- or addicted - to French cuisine, but describes how it could take hours of work and plenty of failure to get the sauce just right -- or at least good enough to move on to the next recipe.

5 comments:

coyote said...

Your title leaves me unclear. Is this posting about Step One or Step Twelve? Because if it's the latter, I must've missed your Step Nine... and I'm thinking really dark chocolate makes fine amends...

Aggie said...

I don't really buy the whole "steps" business. I think change/recovery happens slowly and recursively with plenty of backsliding.
I can definitely provide you with chocolate, though, Coyote, if this would help your process.

coyote said...

Chocolate would very much help my process, ma'am. You do understand that I'm addicted to it, right?

And I believe twelve steppers are fine with recursiveness. One just keeps backsliding to whichever one best fits one's sorry ass at the time, then proceeds forward again from there.

Until your next slip...

4th Dwarf said...

So, Aggie, are you saying you're going to stop worrying about quitting or recovery and just get on with living while continuing your addiction?

That's what I've decided with my addictions, so I can't really take issue. But it's all about how the stuff affects you.

For instance, my chocolate addiction means I'm never going to be a skinny fellow and often makes me seem mighty stingy.

On the other hand, Coyote's chocolate addiction is going to kill him. He's already showing scary symptoms of kidney trouble.

coyote said...

I can quit anytime I feel like it, I just don't feel like it! I-I-I can handle it! H-h-honest! J-j-j-just one more lousy little Callebaut!

P-p-pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!