Exercise for Aggie

I am lazy. I need to exercise, but can't seem to make the move or commit to anything. Sounds an awful lot like my love life. Anyway, I found this wonderful guide, which gives lots of good examples of things I can do in my daily life that can gently integrate physical fitness into my life. For example, I should be marching on the spot while brushing my teeth; I should be squeezing my buttocks as I'm doing my errands; I should be trying to sit up very very straight while watching TV. All these things are designed to raise my awareness about the need for physical activity.
But, I need a concrete plan, and I'm asking for your help. There are a number of things I hate in an exercise plan, so let's just get those out of the way:
1) I hate exercise plans that require expensive gear.
2) I hate exercise that requires a personal trainer.
3) I hate stinky gyms.
4) I hate exercise that requires me to go out in the cold when I'm half awake without coffee.
5) I hate pools.
6) I hate any sport that requires hand/eye coordination.
I want a plan that will get me into top shape with minimal effort. I want it to be pleasant, achievable, refreshing and economical. Getting a dog is the obvious answer, but, again, I'm not ready for this kind of commitment.


Anonymous said...

Aggie, I suggest giving this a listen; it's free and can easily be done in the privacy of your home:

coyote said...

Getting a dog? Getting a dog??!! Harumph!

The Chair said...

Brilliant recommendation, anonymous. My dad did 5BX for his whole life, and he lived a life not unlike our dear Aggie. My earliest memories are of hearing my father do scissor jumps early on Saturday mornings in the bedroom and the whole house would shake. Of course, one morning, I thought he was doing his 5BX and inadvertly stumbled upon he and my mother in an intimate moment. My needing therapy aside, I think the program works well enough. Just make sure there are no minors around, Aggie. Especially, with your particular proclivities.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and here are handy links to both the 5BX and XBX programs:

Andrea SK said...

You could also get a bulldog. They aren't like normal dogs. Apparently they don't like a lot of exercise - quick walks here and there, and then they sleep. And eat.

Sounds a lot like me, actually.

Aggie said...

I'm not ready for a dog. But if I were, I would certainly want a slothful one.
Chair: sorry to hear about your childhood trauma -- the 5BX mishap.
Anonymous: thank you. This looks perfect for me. I'm determined to be fit with minimal effort.

Psychic Librarian said...

The Canadian Health Network recommends:

*Choose activities that are fun.

*Try a unique activity (wall climbing, pole dancing, laser tag, or drum dancing, for example).

*Exercise with other people.

*Keep a diary of your physical activity.

*Set specific, realistic goals.

*Join a team or club.

*Find activities that fit into your daily routine.

I say go for the pole dancing!

Woodsy said...

I've started hoola hooping for a few minutes every morning and evening... Thanks for showing me how to do it Aggie... you sure know how to move those hips!

Aggie said...

Perhaps some kind of combination of hula hooping and pole dancing... Hmmm...

Manny Blue said...

...add a little fire spinning to that, and you're all set!

Physically Unfit Librarian said...

Be careful of all the hoop-la around hula hooping.

4th Dwarf said...

Aggie, what about yer crafting? Maybe you just need to get a bit more basic. Perhaps if you spin yer own wool?

Pandora said...

Shocking. I'm disappointed in all of you! Obviously, the answer is shagging. Lots and lots and lots of lovely shagging.