Meta question

I was partaking of tea and crumpies with Aggie the other day -- she's good about pouring my tea into a saucer, at least tolerates the unavoidably rude slurping noises, and us coyotes always enjoy a nice bit of crumpet... O hell! I'm already digressing again, ain't I?

Anyway, I meant to say she let drop how disappointed she was, that all of her efforts on Elgin Street Muse hadn't earned her the coveted metablog scrutiny yet.

Whether she'd actually like it if she got it is a question for another day. She has a point. She's bustin' her butt over there. We're metabloggers, dammit! Just lately this has manifested as Aggie riffin' on 4th Dwarf riffin' on my gig. Now, I happen to believe the world needs more poets, and I fully support these worthy efforts. They're both brilliant. More, please!

But might this trend not also suggest a peril of swallowing our own metamythological tail until we disappear entirely? I admit to a certain ongoing existential worry in this regard.

Do we need to consider returning to our former Musely format, to metablog Aggie? We've done some of our best stuff on Muses... But what to label it? MetablAgging? MetabAggie? iMetaDame?

Wha...? 'Scuse me a sec, phone's ringing...

"Hello? Who? What? Mmmhmmm, mmmhmmm, mmmhmmm. I see... Well, your mom wears 'em too, I bet!"

Ahem. That was Steve Jobs' hideously-expensive team of Apple Inc™ lawyers calling from Cupertino. Er, scratch that last naming option. Seems it would suck us inexorably into an ruinous legal debacle that we would be sure to lose, one way or another. Damn, those guys are fast!


Harmony said...

There's also MetaBloggie, and MetaBloAggie, for times when one feels a little, well, bloated. Perhaps after swallowing a pelican?

The Chair said...

I agree, Coyote, we've probably let Aggie down so far on the metablogging front. However, it's difficult to metablog about someone who doesn't quite present the same depth of intimacy that we got from Musie. Not that you're not trying, Aggie, but lets face it: you're not quite out-there enough for us. But all is not lost. Where Aggie doesn't quite make up for in intimacy, I think she more than covers when it comes to giving advice. So we should leverage this element. Speaking of out-there and intimacy, I will begin with a call for advice from Great Dame Aggie regarding a matter of urgent importance.


A friend of mine passed on a troubling correspondence she received from an old acquaintance who is in a very bad state of affairs. It seems her marriage is so badly on the rocks that she felt compelled to write a letter to her spouse outlining her issues. However, before actually handing over said note to her hubby, she forwarded it my friend for some sage advice. The letter reads as follows:

Dear UnAppreciative Son of a Bitch:

1. Stop calling me a c*nt in front of your daughter.
2. Pay me back the $200+ each month since June I've spent buying you beer.
3. F*ck off.
4. F*ck off.
5. F*ck off.
6. Hire an accountant since you can't seem to add up what i spend.
7. F*ck off.
8. Keep it up. You have a real penchant for not knowing what you have 'til it's gone. Self-control, relationships, jobs, friends, "wife", health, even your f*cking mistress. You pushed me out long ago. If you want the full split, keep it up. You're getting there, baby.
9. You quit your f*cking job, a**hole. We were hanging on by a prayer as it was. We have nothing for now or the future or for us or our daughter.
10. F*ck off.
11. Grow up.
12 Go to hell.
13. You're a writer. Talk about a guy who acts just like you. It'll be a mystery. How the hell he held on to his wife so long...But everyone will be able to predict the ending. So forget it.
14. Get a job. Because if you push me one more f*cking micrometer you'll be talking to a judge and he'll laugh at you. And while you're at it, thank your lucky stars I am not doing that -- kicking you while you're down.
15. Get real.
16. F*ck off.
17. Go to Hell.
18. Go yell somewhere else.
19. Enjoy your new sobriety.
20. F*ck off.
21. Go ahead. Get mad. I've lost any hope you'll actually fix anything.

As you can see, Dame Aggie, a very troubling letter. Other than seeing some redundant clauses in her list, I can't seem to fathom any advice for this soul. What do you suggest?

Agatha said...

I just wrote a long response, a kind of post-modern gender analysis of the letter. Then, I lost it in the blogosphere somehow. Alas!
In short, my response to the letter is: the lady doth protest too much methinks.

coyote said...

And anger is only the second stage of grief. She's got a helluva long row to hoe yet, so she may as well keep on with it....

Agatha said...

My direct advice is good medication and a feminist empowerment group -- in that order.

coyote said...

A 12-step group for co-dependents wouldn't go amiss, either....

Harmony said...

I like your list Aggie. Medication, then a good "you go girl" pep talk. She may need both. But I think I know what she really needs the most above everything else, and that's support, both emotional and financial. It's not easy to be independent when you have no where to turn, because you are alone, or broke, etc. Should we adopt her?

Agatha said...

Oh God, no! But...does she blog?

Harmony said...

Tee hee! Adoption smacks WAY too much of intimacy, eh? I don't know if she blogs, but she sure swears like a sailor...