2006-11-30

Intimacy may not be for everyone

I hope Aggie's Intimacy Challenge is going well. Here are excerpts of a case study of a fellow who found intimacy so stressful, he attempted suicide:

Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle: For Some People, Intimacy Is Toxic by Richard a. Friedman, M.D

...

Everything seemed to be going well until, one day, the father got a call from his son’s girlfriend. She had not heard from the son for several days, so she went to his apartment and found him semiconscious in a pool of blood. He had taken an overdose of sleeping pills and slit his wrists.

After a brief hospitalization, where he was treated for depression with medication, he returned home and broke off the relationship. Soon after, he moved to Europe to work but remained in frequent e-mail contact with his family. His messages were always pleasant, though businesslike, full of the day-to-day details of his life. The only thing missing, his father recalled, was any sense
of feeling

....

And then I suddenly understood. He wasn’t depressed or unhappy at all. He enjoyed his work as a software engineer immensely, and he was obviously successful at it. It was just that human relationships were not that important to him; in fact, he found them stressfull.

...

I had a hard time explaining all this to the patient’s father. Finally, I came up with an analogy that I had some hesitation about, but since I discovered that both of us were dog lovers, I gave it a try. I explained that some breeds, like Labradors, are extremely affiliative; other breeds are more aloof and will squirm if you try to hold them.

3 comments:

Harmony said...

Yay, Aggie! You keep getting intimate, girl.
And Dwarfie, I'm not exactly sure of the propriety of posting a picture of such a big, tough, lonely-looking wolf, in such close proximity to poor little ol' coyote. Wolves and coyotes are natural enemies, and it looks like coyote's cute pointy little ears would make a perfect snack for that wolf. As Aggie has mentioned in the past, it would be helpful if some ESI's became a BIT more sensitive to the feelings of those around them...

coyote said...

...sniff(le)...

4th Dwarf said...

Agatha, Harmony and Coyote,

It was not my intention to frighten any of you.

I am sorry if anything I may have done may have caused you any fear, anxiety, disquiet, or other unpleasant feelings.

[P.S. The wolf pictured here is in a zoo. Locked behind bars. No danger to sensitive coyotes, little pigs or girls with baskets for their grannies.]