2006-11-30

Intimacy may not be for everyone

I hope Aggie's Intimacy Challenge is going well. Here are excerpts of a case study of a fellow who found intimacy so stressful, he attempted suicide:

Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle: For Some People, Intimacy Is Toxic by Richard a. Friedman, M.D

...

Everything seemed to be going well until, one day, the father got a call from his son’s girlfriend. She had not heard from the son for several days, so she went to his apartment and found him semiconscious in a pool of blood. He had taken an overdose of sleeping pills and slit his wrists.

After a brief hospitalization, where he was treated for depression with medication, he returned home and broke off the relationship. Soon after, he moved to Europe to work but remained in frequent e-mail contact with his family. His messages were always pleasant, though businesslike, full of the day-to-day details of his life. The only thing missing, his father recalled, was any sense
of feeling

....

And then I suddenly understood. He wasn’t depressed or unhappy at all. He enjoyed his work as a software engineer immensely, and he was obviously successful at it. It was just that human relationships were not that important to him; in fact, he found them stressfull.

...

I had a hard time explaining all this to the patient’s father. Finally, I came up with an analogy that I had some hesitation about, but since I discovered that both of us were dog lovers, I gave it a try. I explained that some breeds, like Labradors, are extremely affiliative; other breeds are more aloof and will squirm if you try to hold them.

5 comments:

Agatha said...

You are just trying to scare me away from intimacy, aren't you, Dwarfie? Well, it's not going to work.

Harmony said...

Yay, Aggie! You keep getting intimate, girl.
And Dwarfie, I'm not exactly sure of the propriety of posting a picture of such a big, tough, lonely-looking wolf, in such close proximity to poor little ol' coyote. Wolves and coyotes are natural enemies, and it looks like coyote's cute pointy little ears would make a perfect snack for that wolf. As Aggie has mentioned in the past, it would be helpful if some ESI's became a BIT more sensitive to the feelings of those around them...

coyote said...

...sniff(le)...

4th Dwarf said...

Agatha, Harmony and Coyote,

It was not my intention to frighten any of you.

I am sorry if anything I may have done may have caused you any fear, anxiety, disquiet, or other unpleasant feelings.

[P.S. The wolf pictured here is in a zoo. Locked behind bars. No danger to sensitive coyotes, little pigs or girls with baskets for their grannies.]

coyote said...

Sniff... little pigs? I smell barbecue!