Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2006-08-31

Agenda (as set by the IO with no amendments):

  1. Return of the Fifth Muse
  2. Xpress Best Ottawa Blog Award
  3. Debriefing of weekend events
  4. Other Matters

Location: The Usual Place

Members Present: The Chair (convenor), Independant Observer, Coyote, 4th Dwarf (arrived late)

Absent with Barely Acceptable Excuse: Conch Shell

Absent with Unacceptable Excuse: Agatha

Invited Guest: Audrey

  1. The Chair, IO, Coyote and Audrey entertained themselves as best they could until the Fourth Dwarf arrived and told them of his exciting day and exciting new career in Rocket Science.
  2. Not wishing to have the entire evening focus on himself, the humble dwarf yielded the floor to others and a lively discussion began on item #3 and the direct interest the Christian God has taken in Conch Shell's life. All agreed that his plan did seem to be working out for her.
  3. Somehow this lead to discussion of the Chair and [redacted]. Comparisons were drawn to the Fourth Dwarf and [redacted]. (Note: Coyote and IO were left out of this one as they usually are for reasons unknown to your secretary.)
  4. In an unconscious wish to bring us back to the agenda, Audrey raised a concern that the Fifth Muse's top ten list didn't say anything about how R is in bed.
  5. This lead to a wide ranging discussion about passion. The Chair observed that for Audrey, passion is essential to start a relationship and said something about somebody only sleeping with someone they want to marry.
  6. "I don't sleep with men I want to marry!" exclaimed Audrey, "I only sleep with men I want to have sex with."
  7. A lengthy conversation ensued in which Coyote, IO, 4D and the Chair tried to ascertain just what this meant.
  8. The IO asked 4D if he would do the minutes.
  9. Audrey asked with surprise if she had been attending a meeting.
  10. 4D asked Audrey who had invited her.
  11. Audrey said it was the IO.
  12. Upon direct questioning, the IO admitted he had not told Audrey it was a meeting.
  13. 4D walked away as if in disgust, but really just to go to the bathroom.
  14. Upon his return, 4D asked the IO a direct personal question about [redacted].
  15. Following a back and forth round of misdirection and further probing questions, the IO gave an almost direct answer.
  16. Bar bills were paid and the meeting adjourned.

Secretary's addendum:

Although I cannot make up for the lack of serious discussion that took place on item #1, 5M's return to blogging, I had a lively discussion in my head on the way to the meeting about item #2 and how the discussion would go if Conch Shell and Agatha were at the meeting.

Aggie: Are we going to nominate the blog for the Xpress award?

Conchie: We totally should!

Coyote: Hmmm....

Chair: It would be hilarious if we won.

Aggie: What do you think, IO?

IO: Sure, it might give us some profile.

Conchie: Do you think there'd be any money?

Coyote: I doubt it. Who would do the nominating?

Aggie: You're being awfully quiet, Dwarfie...

Conchie: Yeah, Dwarf, what do you think?

4D: {rolling his eyes} First of all, half of you haven't even posted in the last two months. Secondly, do you think the Rabid Posse would let us win? They might not win themselves, but you can bet that Lana and Minty have a lock on who's going to win and the fix is in. We'd be wiser to take the high road and pretend we don't care about some stupid Xpress award. Piss on it.

IO: Yeah, and you could do that literally, Coyote.

Coyote: har, har.

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