Speaking of sweaty potential ...

The IO is happily preparing for some intensive overseas stargazing. And what better tome to pack than Chambers Harrap's handy new phrase book of pickup lines.

The British publisher has zeroed in on some of the cheesiest (and hence probably most effective) PLs and translated them into the world's most pheromone-laden languages: Czech, French, Italian, Spanish and German.

As you can see, they veritably sizzle even in plain old boring English:

  • Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  • Didn't it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  • You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day.
  • Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again?
  • Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Well let me introduce myself.
  • Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
  • I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  • Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
  • The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

As a seasoned astronomer, I'll be making heavy use of the one about stealing stars from the sky. If my cheeks seem a little red upon my return, I'm afraid it may not be sunburn but morbid embarrassment or, worse yet, lingering evidence of slap marks.


coyote said...

Also speaking of sweaty potential, do we speak here of the aroma of that cheese you've been slinging...?

4th Dwarf said...

Excellent publication review prior to doing fieldwork, IO.

Perhaps we could do some sort of double-blind study (i.e. where we start by drinking ourselves blind) and try out these lines. You could use the astronomish ones, while I could use the seafaring and mining ones I've more experience with. (e.g. "say, darlin', would y'like an able seaman t'trim yer sails?")

4th Dwarf said...

Me again.

I realize it's time I contributed to th'intellectual discourse here, but without giving too many details, let's just say I'm involved in some tricky diplomatic relations just now.

In the meantime, are we not due for some further exercise tips from Agatha, Olga and Carlos?

coyote said...

"Tricky diplomatic relations," huh? What's her name? And exactly how much taller than you is she, that you need to do all this, um, negotiatin'?

4th Dwarf said...

Down, boy, down!

I know you've a fascination for my goings on with the fairer sex, but let's just say a height difference is never a problem for the dwarf when the lass learns of his other attributes.