2006-07-26

Mere coincidence?




OK, Aggie's got a case here for you folks. I've discussed this extensively with the Chair, and he has some strong opinions about this which I'm sure he will share. Here's the case: I know two wonderful Ottawa women of a certain age who are 'out there' trying to date. One met a dude through a dancing event. They arranged a date, he didn't show up or call, she called him and told him that not showing up without calling is rude, he left a message 2 days later saying that her message had been "unkind" because he had been in the hospital with kidney stones.

Second woman: They went out on a date. It was hot. 2nd date. He didn't show. Resurfaced a week later, with the excuse that he lost his blackberry, and hence her phone #.

The interesting thing about this is that - are you ready? -, both men have the same name. For privacy reasons, I will not post the name, but I will say it is not a common anglo name like one of the following names: John, Mike, Jeff, Dave, etc... It is more like one of these more uncommon names: Bart, Wyatt, Lyle, etc...

Mere coincidence? Or, are there two pathological liars with the same name preying on innocent Ottawa women? I say we get to the bottom of this and bring justice back to the Ottawa dating scene.

13 comments:

coyote said...

...or someone could just insert that alleged Blackberry somewhere evocatively unlit, in such a way as to, um, roughly abut the approximate vicinity of an alleged kidney stone.

I'm just sayin'...

Conch Shell said...

So, Aggie, is your theory that this is one man? Do you have information against that?

bob said...

2 things - the first, is that everyone deserves a second chance. Especially when you have no conclusive evidence that this guy's a massive liar and not to be trusted. The 2nd, is why not have these 2 lovely ladies attempt to schedule a 2nd chance date with this guy(s) for the same event? If this is indeed the same person they will no doubt have to say no to the 2nd request, and may in fact weezel out of the first for fear of bumping into the 2nd girl? Just a silly thought...

As an aside, it bothers me deeply that some people don't return phone calls, and worse stand people up. I've heard (3rd party, i swear) of people "connecting" on LL only to have their subsequent phone calls go unanswered, or dates end alone. Who are these losers that stand people up??? People suck sometimes, real hard. If LL weren't so frickin money hungry a feedback mechanism similar to ebay would definitely be implemented, that way you could report back when bunghole a left you hanging... hmmm, i'll have to think on this one ;)

la parisienne said...

Il est la même personne. He is the same guy, no question. I met a man like that once in Cleveland. But, what is a blackberry? He clearly is facing the fear of death, unsuccessfully.

Agatha said...

Bob - I just love your ebay feedback system idea to remedy the bungholes-on-LL problem. I think you may have a million dollar idea there. Let me know if you are looking for a business partner for this venture.
I agree with you on the 2nd chance thing. Yes, people screw up. But I wouldn't give a 2nd chance to someone who didn't apologize for not calling, even if he was in excrutiating kidney-stone pain, or even if his blackberry was in bathroom stall somewhere. If he was dead or in a vegetative state, that might be a good excuse...

coyote said...

Oh, don't go giving him ideas, Ag. If he finds out those lame kidney stone and Blackberry scams are outted, he might move on to use your suggestions. And then we'll have to monitor the scene for guys who claim to be have been temporarily dead on the night in question...

the independent spanish observer said...

Hmmm... they say the more outrageous the excuse, the more likely it is to be believed. So kidney stones would indeed fall into that category. Something like, "my car broke down" would be less believable. So, according to this logic, the unnamed dater may indeed be fibbing.

The Chair said...

I think the kidney stones alibi ranks up there with "my dog ate my homework". Yes, it could be true, but the balance of probabilities suggests it is a fib. It reminds me of a paper I once read in school about the economics of lemons (as in bad automobiles). If you own a car that is understood by all to be a lemon, even if your said car is not a lemon, the market will treat it as a lemon. In order for you to get the true value from the car, you need to share additional information with potential buyers to provide the necessary assurance. The kidney stones story is becoming the lemon of the "stood-up" alibis in the dating world. Under such circumstances it is incumbent on the sayer of such a tale to produce a doctor's note.

4th Dwarf said...

Do I really need to comment? Is there anyone here who doesn't know what I'll be saying?

1) No second chances even if these guys are different Bart-Wyatt-Lyalls. If you stand someone up, you owe them an abject and profuse apology at the earliest moment you can provide it. Even if you were injured while saving a busload of orphans.

2) Instead of speculating on the honesty and likely unity of identity and modus operandi, let's get some facts that our research department can work with. What are Bart-Wyatt-Lyalls' Lavalife names? Or give us their demographics for isolating online profiles. Remember, the research department has some real strength with LL searching.

evolver said...

I always liked "the Queen kidnapped me, drove me off in a tinted black window limousine with MI6 agents; then they took me to a McDonald's and force fed me Big Macs."

That was the credible (OK, creative) excuse a John Morgan character on Air Farce used in the seventies. It has come in handy more than few times, I daresay.

Guy Profiles said...

hmmm, usually find this kind of treachery in the online dating world. is that how they met??? still looking for a muse????

Agatha said...

Hey - "Guy Profiles", aren't you the fellow that caused the 5M to stop blogging?

So, last night Conch Shell and I went to Crabdaddies, or Daddy's Shack, or whatever that frightening place is called to do some fieldwork on the kidney stone/blackberry fellow. We suspected he was there. At one point, Conch Shell yelled "KIDNEY STONES". People turned around, but we didn't think we managed to identify him. Clearly, we need more precise fieldwork techniques than this.

coyote said...

Yeah, Ag, Guy is definitely the rookie who peed in the pool...

And should I admire Conch's fortitude in accompanying you to a fish restaurant? Or should I ask, "What were you guys thinking?" She coulda bin shellnapped and deepfried into conch fritters, breaded with a sodden tempura coating, and storebought marinara dip on the side! A fate too dreadful to contemplate...

As to your research methods, I sense a certain lack of empirical method here. We may need to call an Emergency Meeting, to discuss helpful revisions to your schema. And of course, to have you dish more complete details on Bart/Wyatt/Lyle, so that we can construct this plan with full knowledge. Information is power.... or at least good for batting around over icy beverages.