Where is the 5M's Head?

I'm more than a little concerned about the 5M's interest in the Dude. True, he is virile. He has managed to sire 6 children. Good for him. However, who in his/her right mind would produce 6 children these days?
My concern is not so much with the Dude's sperm count as with the way the Dude is talking to the 5M. True, the 5M is desperate. And desperation breeds bad choices. Is the 5M really "open" to this particular possibility? We all can see why the 5M might find this heady conversation so refreshing after dealing with Mr. Asexual for so long. But, this Dude is a pervert, a weirdo and a freak.
I suspect this dirty talk went down at a nasty little cougar den called the Crab Shack. A good place to pick up crabs.


4th Dwarf said...

Agatha, ye don't seem yerself, t'day.

As far as I can tell, 5M's only been offered some non-procreating activity with this prolific gent.

Agatha said...

On second reading, I think the 5M is just trying to get a rise out of her sick little gang of commenters. Let's see if any of them takes the bait.
As for non-procreating activity, 4D, there is a time and a place for these kinds of conversations, no?
And Siren, another question for the Virile One might be--Who looks after your snot-nosed brood while you rooster around Elgin Street?

4th Dwarf said...

I have to admit, it doesn't seem likely that a fellow who spends enough time drawing pictures in Bridgehead to earn a nickname would be adequately supporting 6 children.

According to 5M, the Dude thinks the G/F is in the "process of leaving him". She is out of town. I've known both men and women who've used a move or a long trip to make a breakup happen by default.

I've also known both men and women who have made claims about their partners' mutual lack of interest in order to snag something on the side and later have it turn out that there wasn't such a lack after all. Of course, we men are more known for a lack of honesty on this front.

But I can't join in on the criticism of the boast of oral prowess. I don't know about these martinis, but after a few pints of grog, I've been known to make impressive (but not exagerated) claims about the spin-off skills one can acquire from years of whistling.

coyote said...

doG, I feel weary. I said I was an empirical coyote. The evidence is now in, and it wasn't long coming: It's one thing to 'remain open'. It's another entirely to 'climb onto the tracks, stand on the ties and wave your frilly hanky yoohoo at the train wreck that's screeching right at you'.

I'm gonna go over to a slough not too far from here there, plonk myself down in the mud between the cattails, take a long nap and ignore this painful debacle. It's gotta have gotten better by the time I wake up...

The Independent Observer said...

Sperm counts. Nasty choices. Crab shacks. The metablog has got itself all atizzy, verging on an excitable lather, so I suggest a brief sojourn at this slower-paced, more relaxing blog to help bring things back to an even keel, as 4th Dwarf might say when he's on the high seas.

6th Apostle said...

Well, as a martyr, giving head takes on a different meaning for me and my consorts. Just ask John the Baptist.

I hope that 5M sees Dude for what he is and nothing more. It is obvious to us, but with her, one never knows.

Agatha said...

Nice of Bob to chime in with his 2 cents. Thanks, Bob, for your definition of "freak" and "selfish freak". However, what kind of freak is the Dude? OK, I'm going to the relaxing blog now.

6th Apostle said...


I'd like to understand your concern regarding Dude given on July 4th, you said:

Imagine how great she'd be doing if she disentangled from M and started a non co-dependent relationship with an emotionally healthy sex maniac with all the riggin'.

Doesn't Dude fit the bill?

Agatha said...

This Dude is not emotionally healthy. He's got six kids and therefore must be out of his mind. Non co-dependent? I doubt it. His girlfriend is out of town, and he says she is preparing to leave him. Of course, we know he just says that to endear himself to the 5M, but...why say it at all?
His vainglorious proclamations of mouth organ talent would be just fine in another context, and something I would fully support--although bragging men are never attractive, in my opinon.
I am happy that M is out of the picture. Is she disentangled from him? No. Everything always comes back to M. Even the Dude in all his crudeness.

4th Dwarf said...

As much as I'd like to see 5M entertain both herself and ourselves with some explicit attention even from an emotionally unhealthy, out of his mind, vainglorious braggart, she does say "Well, I know better than to go there..." and "Not that I'll go there. I know better,..."