Life after Lavalife

So, Lavalife doesn't work. I think the CRTF team showed us that the options just weren't that great. (Although that Italian motorcycle guy in Toronto seemed quite charming.)
So, I picked a blue-collar worker in the "next person for 5M" poll. I recall reading in the paper last year that Ottawa's male government workers were among the most depressed group people in the country. Something about golden handcuffs and the guilt of knowingly wasting all our taxpayer dollars on circular activities that end up nowhere. I think the article went on to say that men in the trades are the happiest group of people.
Now, apparently male blue-collar workers make just as much as male white-collar workers in this country. I don't know the stats on this, but doesn't it seem like these blue-collar types: know how to laugh, have male friends that they do manly things with, tend to love their families, and understand responsibility.
Now, these artist/intellectual types, so many are pansy whiny, insecure, threatened by others, needing to perform one-up-manship. (Male ESI's excluded, you're an atypical bunch) And then, finally, because of their insecurity, ultimately unfaithful.
So: how about a smart, attractive, caring, fit, blue-collar worker, who will adore the 5M for all her intelligence, will be proud, and have time for her to do thesis stuff and general intellectual writing and whatnot because he's out camping with the guys, or playing soccer on Tuesdays? Or maybe fixing the car in the garage?
What about him?


4th Dwarf said...

I read recently that Mike Holmes is single.

Of course, he'd go way beyond giving the 5M advice. He'd be bringing in the specialists "to make everything right."

I voted along with two others so far for a woman in the next relationship. Not because it would satisfy my sick voyeuristic fantasies, but because it would give the 5M the experience of a relationship where sexism and gender roles wouldn't be issues.

(If I want to read a blog that will satisfy my sick voyeuristic fantasies, I usually try Megan Butcher.)

coyote said...

Is this the po-mo-lo-do (post-modern lowdown), Conch? I'm wondering about your take on the re-emergence of M. I was not suggesting calling him back up about techie bugs, when I said the Muse's feelings about him were ambivalent. And short guy, Mike Holmes is a way better choice. I'm sure, given that it's hugs all 'round at the end of each episode, that he's willing to more than merely tolerate feminist sensibilities.

We may about ready to invoke the Auric Goldfinger Rule of Triage:
"Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action"
(Lotsa time to watch trashy old Bond movies out here in my grassland cur-gatory, and I may as well brush up my counter-spy licks in case those crack detectives ever get crackin')

Shall we consider, yet another jeezly time, the actions of the Muse's very own enemy within? Or shall I lie on my back in the grass and more profitably contemplate clouds instead?

The Mighty Po Mo Observer said...

Not to poo poo the po mo, but I think it's human nature to want what we don't have (and therefore think we should have). So a woman with a metrosexual guy who uses hair products and gets regular manicures might wish he was a sweaty construction worker some of the time. And vice versa. But how many guys fit these stereotypes like a glove? Not many. A blend of characteristics is probably closer to reality for most men -- and women. Some gals (can I use that word, Po Mo Committee?) pride themselves on being the sort that can lug a backpack through the woods, then turn up in a suave evening dress at a dinner party hours later. And why not?

4th Dwarf said...

Confidential message to "Anonymous" - we know.

Agatha said...

So, the 5M dismissed the construction worker idea. You made a fine argument, though, Conch Shell.
Isn't that Bob just adorable?

Conch Shell said...

Bob is adorable. But on another note, I think M has a moral obligation to leave 5M alone. Male ESI's?
He doesn't want a future with her, he knows she wants more. This frienship ruse is wasting her time, and worse.
I've seen this kind of thing play out like this: Her: we had a seven year relationship, on and off. We just broke up again. He needs some time to work out his identity.
Him: We dated at the start, something was missing, we've been friends ever since. She's great. In between my girlfriends, she's always there for me. She really supports me. I hope she meets someone some day.

4th Dwarf said...

I don't think you really need a guy's perspective on this one, Conchie. This dynamic can play out in either direction.

But I suppose the guy's perspective is, if M doesn't keep 5M obsessed, how is he going to get a guaranteed role in the hay on his birthday or other special days?

Are you suggesting he should put 5M's eventual happiness ahead of his own convenience?

4th Dwarf said...

p.s. Don't you think that Bob looks too innocent to be tangling with the 5M? Look how she spit out the lcp and he's been around the block a few times.

Conch Shell said...

Yes, he's too innocent. I figure she knows that. Okay, I have an idea. If the 5M wants to prove that it's just friendship with M, she should try to set him up with someone, and/or encourage him to ask someone that has potential out on a date.

coyote said...

"Getting involved with writers of any kind is risky."
--5th Muse, Friday, August 26

Anonymous said...

Oh God, Conch! That's a terrible idea. M is not ready to date anyone. He's damaged. He knows it. I know it. He has to do tons of work to figure out why it is he is so entirely emotionally shut down. He just hurts people, unintentionally, but still ...

Agatha said...

Yes, Conchie, I also think it's a terrible idea, but not for the same reasons as Anonymous (who seems to know M quite intimately...)
Setting up dates for M is still being INVOLVED with M. If M wants to get himself some therapy and some dates, he should do that. He doesn't need help with that.
M seems to get away with a lot of dysfunctional behaviour because--according the 5M's narrative-- he's got some sort of mojo he puts out there. Coyote came up with the phrase "truncated mojo" at one point. I believe it may apply here.

4th Dwarf said...

Aggie always gets it.

Conch Shell said...

But this isn't about helping M, it's about helping 5M. Besides, I know this one is going to hurt, but narcissists are forever narcissists. It's a permanent problem. Very sad for them, but the best thing to do is to stay away.

4th Dwarf said...

In my experience, taking time off being in a relationship doesn't help much with being better in the next relationship.

But it can give you time to work on some other area of your life. For example, my whistling is pretty good these days. And that might be of some benefit to the next relationship I'm in. You never know. Perhaps I'll hook up with another whistler and we can duet together.

If M is going to get into another relationship rather than using his time to study ceramics or take up lawn bowling, perhaps he should read the posts at this blog.

4th Dwarf said...

Hey! Wait a minute! Who changed the Header back?

Did someone let BlogAdmin out of the basement?

I mean has BlogAdmin recovered from his illness?

Oh, crap.

I mean, good to have you back BlogAdmin.

Praise-above, the-pirate's-gone! said...

Well, thank-the-stars-above and all sorts of over-emotional rhetoric at the return of the rightful blog admin. GIVE PRAISE and THANKS BE TO GOD (not to step on 6th Apostle's sandals here): you're back! You won't believe what this blog has been through.

I see you've already started getting blog stats and facts back into shape. You rule.

4th Dwarf said...

t'be honest, I was tiring of piloting this mess. Fiddlin' with html and such foolery is no fit occupation fer a man of action such as meself.

Praise-above, the-pirate's-gone! said...

Sounds like a piratey case of sour grapes, to me.

Nice job on the ***pirate cam***, by the way, blog admin.