Kens wanting Barbies

A while ago you also said you want a man who has never been married and has no kids. I'd say you better be looking for a man who's a lot younger than you.
I'd say a man your age who wants a nice committed relationship, AND has never been married or had kids, doesn't exist.

This is a recent comment from Ken on 5M's site. Okay, nice of him to try some advice, I suppose. But this is either a conceited and stupid man in his 20s, or he's mean. What's the average age of first marriage these days? 34.3 for men, 31.7 for women (Stats Can, 2000). Given that lots of people (presumably like Ken) get married first time in their early 20s, lots do it in their 40s too. And generally, not to virgins.
Now, I think going the cougar route is a bad idea. I know, this isn't necessarily the standard feminist viewpoint, and I used to argue: right on girlfriend. But personally, I think it makes a woman feel older to hang out with men who are younger (and typically wanting even younger women than themselves). And if babies are the agenda, these younger guys just waste time and lo-and-behold -- as unfair as it is that the biological clock ticks despite ourselves -- it becomes too late. (China excluded -- cute little backup plans provided you got an extra $30,000).
One other comment, Dude is coming through for 5M. She can be honest with him (given how he's written off as inappropriate), and he in return can say what he's thinking.


6th Apostle said...

Some good points, Conch. I'm glad you responded to Ken's post. I'm thinking 5M chose wisely to just ignore it altogether, but that shouldn't stop us from addressing the issue.

One of the things I've noticed about the late-thirty-something to forty-something men is that a lot of them are in denial about the whole children thing. Just because from a biological perspective they can play Peter Pan until they're as old as Saul, doesn't mean they'll actually find some young chick to give them kids. It's really a fantasy. Quite sad, really. At least most women cross that threshold and redefine themselves quite successfully; whereas with many guys...well...I'll just let the pathetic LL profiles speak for themselves.

mike said...

Actually I'm an old fart, and probably was thinking in terms of what age people got married 40 or 50 years ago, so I will assume your stats are correct and that things have changed considerably in the interim.

coyote said...

Conch, where you see the Dude coming through, I whiff the distant aroma of a very great number of tongue-puckering grapes only lightly concealed. He's kinda pissed. This ain't going the way he'd like at all. Probably bad for his ego. I like it.

And Nate, techie hookup toys aside, the other significant downside of the whole 'Endless Summer' fantasy is as old as the coulees where I live: yeah, you can still perpetrate kids when you're 40, or 45, or 60 -- but you will be 60, or 65, or 80, by the time that they become anything like adult. Come to that, you'll completely lack the youthful energy to rear 'em (years of 2 a.m. nappy patrols, anyone?), they'll likely shun you as a truly-outta-touch geez by the time they're little 12 year old hipsters, and odds are high that by the time they marry, you'll be, uh, oh yeah, dead. Talk about missing out on the true parenthood experience...

Conch Shell said...

Ah, Ken. Okay, I accept your explanation. If you're used to old marriage stats, that's a good excuse. But thanks for the clarification. I was picturing you as a young know-it-all.

mike said...

Naw, I'm an old know-it-all.