2005-08-12

Going Back to the Elphin

Don't kick the elfI've been thinking about 5M's Elphin posting now and then since she posted it the other morning. It bugs me.

Ex Maleficio asked: "Why does she seem to have such a need to malign people?"

And the Elphin posting begs that question more than most of her postings have. Much of her criticism of the supers are cheap shots on the way they look, dress and celebrate holidays.

If these people are not as bad as 5M makes them out to be, I feel badly for them. If they are as bad, I feel badly for 5M that she has given them ammunition to use against her.

5M says she is "a nice girl" and has complained more than once that M didn't compliment her for being a "nice person".

I'm not a big fan of "nice". It has connotations of blandness and accepting situations that one shouldn't have to accept.

But this posting goes beyond "not nice" into "down right nasty".

I used to have a friend, Pixie, who seemed nice when around people, but when you were alone with her, she would share all sorts of uncomplimentary things about these other people. It was entertaining for a while, but then I thought, "what does she say about me when she's with other people?" I'm glad Pixie didn't have a blog and I don't know.

Another thing I wondered was, if Pixie thinks so many negative things about other people, is she thinking that we're all having these sorts of thoughts about her? And I believe she was thinking that. Because she saw malice towards her when I'm sure there was nothing more than thoughtlessness, or even a misplaced effort at being nice.

14 comments:

4th Dwarf said...

At least she's doing something I have to support today. Unless her student is under 18, in which case she should have talked to the mother.

The Independent Observer said...

Yeah, I'm with the 5M and Dwarf. There's a generation of overprotective parents out there that will go to great lengths to manage almost every aspect of their kids' lives.

This from Psychology Today:

"Talk to a college president or administrator and you're almost certainly bound to hear tales of the parents who call at 2 a.m. to protest Branden's C in economics because it's going to damage his shot at grad school.

Shortly after psychologist Robert Epstein announced to his university students that he expected them to work hard and would hold them to high standards, he heard from a parent -- on official judicial stationery -- asking how he could dare mistreat the young."

X-ed- out-Ex said...

Yes, we are all agreed about the momma calling about the marks. Yuck, what a horrible situation, and 5m dealt correctly with it.

But note: once again, she comments that she can't stand how university life has degenerated, how the chair of the dept. doesn't support her, and that he doesn't react the way she wants when she voices complaints about other things and people bothering her.

Isn't this almost exactly what she said about the Elphin, and the caretakers and management there?

Then, she wishes she could withdraw from the world and just blog.

5m may need to realize that the world is not smooth, we are always in some conflict with others, often at work or with a landlord, and that she must learn skills to discreetly get her point across, and get better reactions from others around her. Being "nice" often gets you more of what you need, and want.

Which is not to say one should be fake. But one should be polite. One should be ready to give, in order to take a bit. You have to mediate and negotiate, in order to function happily in this life. Only spoiled kids always get their ways.

4th Dwarf said...

Yes, X, but at least 5M didn't make cheap shots about the department chair's hair or clothing this time.

Although, I'm not so sure things have truly degenerated on this front. Decades ago when I was in Mining School, administrators told me about parents who would call seeking information on their children or trying to intervene and being told that if their offspring was over 18 they'd need a consent letter before they could do more than confirm anything more than the fact of the offspring being registered.

4th Dwarf said...

And check out the new comment from Ken:

Find a boyfriend with a good job and start making babies before its too late, like women used to do back in the old days. By the time they're in kindergarten you'll have decided what you want to do.

Do you suppose he figures he has a good job?

6th Apostle said...

Boy, Ken's obviously looking to get a rise out of 5M today.

Yes, it is disappointing to see the excessive rant on her Elphin experience, and it would actually be wise of her to retract the posting if she wants to stay out of court down the road.

I do relate to her issues with work, though. That's always tough, especially for independent academic types. But as x-ed out states: we need to manage these things with discretion and diplomacy.

coyote said...

Yup, that Elphin drive-by is intemperate. Girl carries a grudge. But it's usually classier to arch an eyebrow and decline comment rather than go to an ad hominem attack on a defenseless jugular. 'Specially if said artery is adorned in polyester. Ptoooi!

Other thing to consider, is, there're many unlikely types barging around the 'Net these days, Googling, say, their places of employment. Some may be custodians. Or their friends. It's a big, connected world, and one may quickly find oneself without adequate defense in another, less virtual, environment.

But as for that mother hen: around here, kits learn to hunt on their own as soon as they're old enough. I, or any other adult coyote, has no business going out chasin' partridges for them every time they whine. We'd just be delaying them from learning what they need to survive. How else are the crafty li'l slackers gonna learn to eat, for cripes' sake?

Sick & Wan Careless said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
5th Muse said...

Obviously, I don't have any deep, dark secrets that I'm ashamed of.

coyote said...

Hmmm. Am I now to list 'prescience' on my resume, right beside 'perky ears','hairy toes' and 'doggie breath'?

Conch Shell said...

Okay, I think the Elphin comment is a fake -- from Aggie.

Blog Admin said...

The next rogue poster on the ESI is getting a spanking. And don't think this is a dare, Aggie.

Sick & Wan Careless said...

We are finding that the old saying " Even bad publicity is good publicity" is so true .
Thank you Miss 5th Muse

"S" 370 Metcalfe st said...

I love the internet..and the people on it ...My wife wrote the comment that was removed.. So it is/was not fake...5m mentioned that we work for Regional Group which is true....