Having the Garbo epiphany

Finally! She's thought about her relationship with M, and she wants to be alone. I applaud heartily. Well, as heartily as a guy with hair tufts between his footpads and fairly long claws is able...

My observations of human nature suggest that there comes a time in any relationship when one decides whether they're fishin' or cuttin' bait. She and M. have been cuttin' bait for over a year. Whether he ever intended to drop a line into the water is a moot point here, because this has been about 5M's own expectations and hopes fogging her ability to assess the real relationship. I've heard of rose-coloured glasses, and I think this might be what the term means. I'll have to take that on faith, though, since we canines are somewhat colourblind. But ya get what I mean.

Other issue, and perhaps the one that's kept her in this self-imposed purgatory: it'll mean that she will be alone, and perhaps lonely. I note that there is a dread of aloneness in modern man, perhaps an atavistic throwback to a time when people (with very slopey foreheads) banded together to watch each others' (extremely hairy) backs. I found them an amusingly dull-witted lot to play with, back in my long-ago kit-hood, but not without their own slow ability.

But here I want to point out the very great difference between alone-ness and loneliness. Aloneness may be quite pleasant and profitable, if one is comfortable in one's own skin, and likes oneself. There is much room for growth in this blessed state, if one gives it room. Loneliness is a cramped condition of the spirit, and a whole unpleasent other thing.

Our Muse has begun to realise that one can be physically close to a person (to the point of tearing down shower curtains together) for, say, a year, yet remain quite lonely if one's emotional needs continually remain unmet. She points out that it's better to be alone than to stay in the relationship. It has sounded to me to be at the least unsatisfying and at the most toxic, and it hasn't changed. A long-looked-for revelation for the Muse. And, I hope against hope, finally a time for her to move on.

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