Tips for Criminal Masterminds: Crown Assets

So you want to be a criminal mastermind. You’ve got the IQ. You’ve got the naked ambition to take over the world. But you need materials and supplies. Where to go for good deals on the stuff your world dominating organization needs? Why not try the government?

Crown Assets Canada is currently auctioning two skids of 30-minute road flares (minimum bid: $ 6,672.50). and a whole pile of marine cordage (no minimum bid).


(a) It might be worth waiting on the flares. They were up for sale in February with a minimum bid of $7,850.00, but there were no bids, so the price has dropped by 15%.

(b) The minimum bid is still a big savings over the retail price.

(c) If you don’t know what you’d do with 5600 road flares and heavy marine cordage, you might be evil but you’re no genius.]

Also, if you act fast, you can buy a firetruck (minimum bid: only $3000!) Just the thing for pulling off a major heist in a downtown core.

Bonus Crown Asset items to help you set a criminal mastermind ambiance:


GC on behalf of The Gang said...

We SO want that red fire engine. It would be PERFECT to drive us all around town. Some of us would sit in the cab and play with the controls and some of us would sit on the ladder and announce our arrival. We'd cruise up Elgin Street and have such a good time!

Zoom, GC, Logan-the-Dog, Duncan-the-DogCat, Billie-n-Lester-the-Lovebirds, Kazoo-the-Parrot, Oboe-the-Kid, Baby-Grey-to-Come, and Future-Prospects... Am I forgetting anyone?

coyote said...

A rich guy to pay for all the petrol...?

bigdaddyhame said...

I do like that the Fire Engine is labelled "Atomic Energy Canada Limited"