The real reason for Lake Fake

O, hai! I imagine you've heard by now that the PM's Billion Dollar Baby includes a $2 million fake indoor Muskoka-type lake - which it pleases many Canadians to dub Harper's Folly - for TV guys reporting on the G20 to stand in front of whilst they report. All without, you know, having to deal with the actual pesky outdoors.

I will not waste time pointing out the multiple layers of irony inherent in the attitudes of, ummm, democratically elected leaders who think the main perk of being such leaders is the ability to officially fence out the hoi polloi - with the dirty rabble's own money. How sweet is that? I digress.

No, we coyotes are more interested in why the PM, so notoriously disdainful and dismissive of media et al, would want to make this kind gesture. He claims marketing. We coyotes respectfully suggest that it might be because Lake Fake will afford a fine spot for the PM's evil henchthingies to corral the media and keep a covert eye on the entire sodding bunch of 'em from an underwater command post. Say, with all the high-tech stealth observation gear on one of them bargain-basement used Royal Navy submarines we haven't been hearing so much about, lately... heh. Ahoy, polloi!


About the time we posted this yesterday, a clearly pissed PM was lecturing, as if to idiot schoolchildren, that Lake Fake is not a fake lake at all but a "water feature" and that it only cost $57,000, as part of a larger $2M marketing pavilion.

For our part, we 6000-year-old, semi-mythical, totemic, animistic coyotes reserve the right to play as fast and loose with truth and the facts as do ministers of the current government.* Especially the minister that is the biological host of John Baird's hair.

We stand by our version. As loudly as possible.
(*We know full well what a dangerously slippery ethical slope this is. And that we're prob'ly goin' to some seriously semi-mythical, totemic, animistic version of Hell for it. We signed a waiver...)


Anonymous said...

Personally, I think this Fake Lake thing is just a cleverly-timed diversion that effectively drew everyone's attention away from that $1 Billion overall price-tag. ONE BILLION DOLLARS, ya'll!!! Why, in the very grand scheme of that thing, does a $57,000 lake make us so crazy??

coyote said...

The simple, self-evident goofiness, ma'am. The catchy name, "Fake Lake". And, really, because a billion of anything is too much for anybody to conceive of properly, the lake is the dead-easy metaphor for intellectually-lazy critters such as ourselves...