We want you, Jasmine!

Dear Jasmine,

Sometimes this world can really make you feel like a loser. We know that over here at the ESI Academy. Now that you are jobless and injunctionless, we would like to welcome you into the ESI family. Since the Chair and Conch Shell stopped blogging, and I have had my own problems blogging, we have spaces available. You have all the qualities we need in an ESI blogger:

1) You are hot. We like that over here. Let's face it, hotness matters!
2) You lose shit. We just love your Attention to Deficitness.... In fact, it just makes you all the more attractive to us.
3) You record people without them knowing. We love that you recorded your boss being a complete cow. If more folks did this, it would be a better world. Jasmine, you rock! Imagine all the field work we could do with you! We'll get you a new recording device and you can get started right away.
4) You are well connected, apparently. We need all the social capital we can get over here. We need you, Jasmine. With you, we could win all those blog contests hands down.
5) You like cocktails and pizza. Guess what? We do, too!! .


Bandobras said...

Gosh who knew that all her majesty's ministers didn't love and cherish each others abilities. It all seems so shabby and indecorous.
And who knew that assistants earned enough to afford 3 lawyers to work for them since the government had nothing to do with that.

coyote said...

Bandobras, that's just so... cynical! The Irregulars always prefer to accentuate the positive. Look at how hard we've been supporting the mayor in his time of trial... Heh.

The positive is that Jasmine may yet brunch again in Ottawa. Maybe not with Tory ministers, but we'd welcome her...