Minutes: Spontaneous Meeting of ESI Editorial Board

In attendance: [Redacted]
Venue: The [Redacted] Spot

1. The Stragglers
The board discusses the reasons that some ESIs are rarely posting on their selected days and concludes that there are a variety of reasons and that each person is a unique case with special needs. They identify possible reasons they may not be posting:

  • Stressful lives
  • Busy shagging
  • Lack of inspiration
  • Microphone Fright: Fear that their post will not be of high enough quality or importance
  • Feeling they do not have enough to say
  • Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and the other personality disorders that seem to affect all ESIs to varying degrees, especially, ADD and OCD
  • Substance abuse
Consensus: We must recognize that all we can do is offer our support and create a safe environment for the Stragglers as they struggle with their demons.

2. Inducements to Post
The board discusses possible ways to induce the Stragglers to manage one post a week:
  • Stress that a posting need only be a pair of sentences or a single image. (But not "I got nothing" says one board member.)
  • Assign story ideas or topics ("That won't work for the Chair or for Aggie" notes the secretary as the Oppositional Defiance issue is recalled.)
  • Conduct a Motivational Therapy Session by bringing in a speaker like Tony Robbins ("Or what about XUP?" asks a member who needs no motivation.)
  • Rewards and Consequences (or Carrots and Sticks) ("With this crowd? Are you kidding?")
3. Focused Comments

Listings: Are any ESIs following the real estate market? How about a weekly Ottawa's worst listing?

Conch Shell:
  • We would like to know about the occasional weird thing going on in the celebrity world.
  • We would also like an occasional update on your fellow maritime creatures. Especially news about cute or famous maritime creatures.
  • All you need to do is ask those piercing questions that come to you.
  • We debated asking for more stories of shagscapades, but recalled that they seem to come naturally, all on their own.
  • There's more to life than watching movies.
  • Posts can be short.
Independent Observer:
  • The editorial board is happy with your frequency.
  • We like that crazy still works for you.
  • Just because you're not in the sidebar and don't have a day doesn't mean we don't expect more contributions from you.
  • No need to escalate things with Tank Top Tuesday. As you were advised by 7th Heathen, imaginations will fill in the details.
  • However, if you switch days with someone, make sure that person knows they are expected to do a Tank Top Tuesday posting.
  • Keep up the good work.
  • Attending an ESI meeting with female guests, or attending a bloggers' brunch that single female bloggers are attending does not place you under an obligation to date any of those women.
Fourth Dwarf:
  • No need for specific instructions for you because it is obvious by your posting the minutes that you found yourself at the Spontaneous Meeting of the Editorial Board.


coyote said...

I think we can all agree that neither carrots nor sticks work with any of us.

But for anybody who wants to voluntarily impose a little harsh self-discipline (and I'm pretty sure you already know who you are...) there's always the Write or Die 2.0 input interface...

Aggie said...

Seems you all had a lot to discuss there.... Personally I think I need the Tony Robbins approach right now.

coyote said...

He's a wanker. Just like the Editorial Board.

4th Dwarf said...


Re Carrots: It's true that carrots will not work for me. Other root vegetables will also fail to motivate me. But gold coins would do the trick.

Re Wankers: I'm torn between following the deletion policy for insulting comments or pointing out that it takes one to know one.


"In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently." ~ Tony Robbins

Woodsy said...

Roots will motivate me everytime.