Downtown redevelopment in the wind?

As I scuttled down Elgin Street at rush hour this morning, on my way toward another date with destiny, or possibly an unfortunate waxing accident, a little whirlwind at Elgin and Lisgar spun out of the traffic and blew a piece of semi-official-looking stationery straight at me. I chanced to read it as I peeled it off my face and saw the draft missive below. My heart raced. Who could've written it? What can it all mean...?

Mayor Larry O’Brien Appoints New
Downtown Redevelopment Adviser

DRAFT: For future release
August 12, 2008

OTTAWA - Today Mayor Larry O’Brien released the name of the Chair of a Taskforce on Downtown Redevelopment.

As part of his 1 000 Days of Change, Mayor O’Brien committed to making Ottawa "one of these cities with swagger."

The Taskforce’s mandate is to examine the current downtown and waterfront of the City of Ottawa and develop recommendations based on best practices, and other municipal models.

David Boyd, a Halifax cab driver, computer technician and tow truck driver, who has also advocated man-on-android love, is appointed task force chair. Mr. Boyd envisions more casinos, strip clubs and Las Vegas-style nightlife in the city.

While Ottawa has a number of adult-entertainment parlors and nearby access to the Gatineau Casino and the Rideau-Carleton Racetrack, Mr. Boyd believes the City needs more. "It's high time Ottawa grew up and realized it's a government town," Mr. Boyd said.


Anonymous said...

David Boyd is running for mayor of Halifax and as far as I know has nothing to do with Ottawa.

Bruce C.
Political Map of Ottawa

4th Dwarf said...

Did you hear that Coyote? This "press release" you found must be some sort of hoax or spoof.

coyote said...

Alas! Some anonymous scoundrel has hung me out to dry! The ignomony! What will become of my sterling reputation in political blogging circles??!


4th Dwarf said...

I feel for you, C.

Nobody knows better than me the misery of being hung out to dry.

On the plus side, if you spread your toes, you can clear up any lingering fungal issues you might have. If you have any.

Woodsy said...

...and it will hopefully dry up those little wet spots behind your ears.

coyote said...

Hey. Us semi-mythological totemic coyotes were hardly born yesterday. And I'll leave the foot fungus to that short guy with the freakishly huge feet - who fully deserves the clodhoppers and their accessory mushrooms, if ya catch my drift...