Are we Cool Over 40?

Our friend XUP is all over the blogosphere these days and is even back to blogging. Last week, she posted two excellent pieces, one on how to be cool over the age of 40 and another on how to live to be much older than 40.

Today I am taking a break from the smoking and drinking XUP recommended, from my quest for an RNDP and from wooing Ms Twain, to bring you:

A handy table that shows how the ESIs stack up on XUP's coolness indicators


Cool Job-11-11111






In a Band11110.5301

Avoid malls1111111

Talk Cool-1411-15111

Walk Cool-16111111

Hangs with the Cool1-1-1-1-1-1-1



  1. Aggie has a laptop and a cell phone, but doesn't know how to use either very well.
  2. The IO has a Blackberry.
  3. CS says she's in a band. Her bandmates are not so sure.
  4. 4D actually says "in my day" on a regular basis.
  5. Coyote: "***BLAMMO*** I'm on my butt with my tail smokin' and my ears ringing. You figure out which side I take".
  6. Unless you think 4D's limp-hop-stride is cool.
Obvious conclusion: If I am negatively cool, that means I am hot.


coyote said...

Or maybe, Shorty, you're just below Absolute Zero... which would be 'inert'.

Me? I vaguely remember being cool a few millenia back. Now I'm strictly in it for the yuks. So glad you got my hair and teeth right, though...

Woodsy said...

Don't all those gadgets that I have from Venus Envy count? And what about all the activism that I do for the lonely and misunderstood taxi drivers?

XUP said...

I think you should let someone else rate you 4D. You seem to be pathologically modest - which in itself is pretty cool.

4th Dwarf said...

Coyote, [redacted].

Woodsy, I don't think they were the gadgets XUP had in mind. But you're right about the Activist point. I'll fix that shortly.

XUP, nobody has ever called me pathologically modest before. But I'm not sure I'd get a point for it if you left it to the other ESIs to score me. As for the other points, no, that's how they'd score me.

Pandora said...

Don't forget to factor in 4D's squeaky voice.

Pandora said...

um, I meant 'sexy', sorry darling

Milan said...

Cool job? Decidedly not.

Cool looks? Generic work clothes, paired off with MEC mountain climbing clothes... Not especially cool

Cool teeth? I defend my somewhat crooked but unmodified teeth. When you beget children by someone who has had all manner of braces and treatments, you have no idea how expensive it will be to render your children non-hideous.

Cool gadgets? A few... and lots of knowledge about how to use them.

Band? No chance.

Avoid malls? This, I am extremely happy to do.

Talk cool? Hard for me to assess of myself. External analysis required.

Hang out with Cool People? These have been proving quite challenging for me to locate in Ottawa. They must be out there but, as a recently graduated student, I don't know where to look outside clubs and classes.

Activism? Definitely. Up with gay marriage. Down with coal power...

4th Dwarf said...


You're in Ottawa, MEC = cool.

It looks to me like you're sitting on 10 points.

Making you cooler than the coolest ESI.

Milan said...

Perhaps I will eventually have the good fortune to meet some of you. A rigorous evaluation of whether I 'talk cool' could be conducted.

4th Dwarf said...

Milan, if Aggie is there it won't be the way you talk that gets a rigorous evaluation.

If you catch my meaning.