2007-10-24

Return of the Meta Contest

The time has come to launch the second part of the meta contest.


How to Win:
  • Before 7pm, Thursday, 8 November 2007, write a comment on this post suggesting a prize.
The Winner Will Receive:
  • The very prize that they suggested.
The Winner will be determined by consensus of the Elgin Street Irregulars. No consensus = No winner.

33 comments:

coyote said...

So. Who's been a busy dwarf, then...?

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

I would like one of Aggie's home-made muumuus for my prize, please

Woodsy said...

I want to win the t-shirt with "Rock on" spelled out on the front and "Anyhoo" on the back.

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

Can I change my vote? I'd actually like to win a new pair of pink go-go boots, size 7 1/2. Thank you

4th Dwarf said...

Ms Pedestrian, there is no limit on the number of entries you can make in this contest.

So both of your entries are eligible. This might be the best thing for you. I find it hard to imagine that Aggie or Conch Shell would let us give someone else a pair of pink go-go boots if we had a pair to give away.

Harmony said...

I would like world peace, please.

Apostrophe said...

How 'bout a kick in the ass?

4th Dwarf said...

Harmony,

Just in case you are confused, this is not one of those pageants you entered in your youth.

Apostrophe,

Just in case you win (I'm not saying you will, just in case), can the kick be from one of the friends of the ESIs? The Amazon really enjoys kicking people in the ass so this could be a prize for you and for her.

Woodsy said...

If I win, I'd like my shirt to be one of those very tight slinky numbers (size petite), and not one of those baggy, oversize thingies that Dwarfie wears.

Aggie said...

If you win, Woodsy, I think that can be arranged.

Harmony said...

Clearly, Dwarf, you weren't one of the 9,000 people who gathered recently to hear the Dalai Lama speak: "An inner disarmament of the human soul that replaces jealousy and hatred with compassion and a holistic world view is the first step toward peaceful co-existence."
Further: "No better option exists for an interconnected world facing man-made threats...first inner disarmament, then outer disarmament."
I doubt he ever entered any pageants, either. Words to live by Dwarfie.
If world peace is too much, can I ask for local peace?

4th Dwarf said...

Alas, Harmony, I had a combined attack of gout and shingles that kept me away from the Dalai's talk. (All better now, thanks.)

In reading the excerpts you've given, about inner disarmament and all, are you suggesting that your prize would be for the ESIs to work out their own internal struggles?

Or are you asking us to help you replace your jealousy and hatred with compassion and a holistic world view?

Harmony said...

Ah, he is ever so dense who does not look within, Dwarfie...
World peace, arranged by the ESI's, given to me as a prize...thus, we all win, oh short one.

zoom said...

I know I vowed not to enter any more of your contests, but I keep asking myself how this one could possibly backfire on me, since if I win I'll get exactly what I want. Right?

But you know what they say about things that seem too good to be true...

4th Dwarf said...

Zoom!

You make it sound like we are evil genies who plan to make your life miserable by giving you exactly what you ask for.

But we are neither evil nor genies.

And we want to make the winner of this contest happy.

Aggie said...

Zoom! Tell us what you want! You could always pull the ebay stunt again if it turns ugly on you.

zoom said...

I'm thinking about it, because I do know exactly what I want and it's not obtainable anywhere else but here. But first I need to know what you've done with Andrewzrx. He seems to have vanished without a trace right after winning your last prize.

coyote said...

Zoomie, we're friends here, so I hate to go all contractual-like on your ass, but technically you won it. You then, as was your perfect right, vended it to a third party, namely Andrewzrxc. Who is still, doubtless, wondering what the heck to do with the darn thing now that he's got it. I gather this post-bidding-frenzy hangover is not uncommon among some classses of ebayrati...

zoom said...

Well geez, when you put it like THAT, it all sounds so innocent. I myself have been known to suffer from Ebay buyers' remorse. (I still have an ugly beaded $105 purse in a box somewhere...and I don't even carry a purse.)

So none of you ESIs had anything to do with Andrewzrx's disappearance?

coyote said...

Ahem. We're not that kind of secret cabal...

4th Dwarf said...

Zoomie, we don't even know what happened to Conch Shell, one of our own members.

4th Dwarf said...

And anyway, Andrew just sent me a note:

Hi Dwarf,
I have not been thinking of what to write. That thread was relegated to the stack, and I think the pointer became corrupted. During garbage collection this morning I caught an exception. Upon further inspection I see that the entire page of memory has been compromised and I must refractor the algorithm.

Stand by...

Andrew

zoom said...

Oh phew on all counts - phew that you're not that kind of secret cabal, and phew that andrewzrx is alive and refractoring the algorhythm! What a shame about Conch Shell though. Are there any theories about her disappearance?

coyote said...

I blame competition from zebra mussels. But anything's possible... even her turning up again. We keep hoping.

zoom said...

I lay awake last night worrying I might have jeopardized my chances of winning the contest by casting aspersions on your collective character.

Do you think the judges might be persuaded to overlook my momentary lapse of judgement?

4th Dwarf said...

Zoom, who can say?

I can say that if you don't enter, you won't win.

zoom said...

Excellent point Dwarfie. I just don't want to get my hopes up too high, because the likelihood of the ESIs reaching a concensus is, ah....well, let's just say I don't think it's the likeliest of outcomes.

But it *could* happen. It's not like it's mathematically impossible or anything like that.

Woodsy said...

Hmmmm, Zoom, that's why I've resorted to bribery of sorts... Well, excuse me now, I have to go burn my bras and go to the chocolate store.

zoom said...

Woodsy, if only I knew how to upload chocolate and breasts.

coyote said...

Ma'am, if you ever figure that out, you will rule the universe. Google and Microsoft would become mere cyber-asterisks on footnotes in the appendices of the history of the Interwebby...

zoom said...

I'm working on it Coyote, but I might not have the prototype ready before the contest deadline.

I was going to wait until the last minute before submitting my contest entry, but it seems it's completely out of character for me to do anything at the last minute, and trying is causing me Great Angst.

So here's what I want as my prize: a mojo kit, with little treasures contributed by each of the ESIs.

I would love that.

Audrey said...

I would really love a Google poem written by the ESIs. It would need to mention my name in it and be dedicated to me!

Tiana said...

I would like to win a poutine made with crisp potato fries, squeaky cheese curds and a thick vegetarian gravy that hopefully doesn't taste mushroomy.