Crittercizing design

Being who -- and what -- I am, I'm a huge fan of lurking alongside roads at night, so that when headlights reflect the red glare from my baby-yellows, it jolts the crap outta drivers. It's a coyote thing. It amuses me.

But last night, restless 'round three or so, I was rudely aware of the rather astounding number of unwanted and unasked-for little electrical eyes floating in the once-pristine dark of my den -- smoke detector blinking every 30 seconds, power strips, clock, CD player, DVD player, VCR, amps, tuners, modems, RF converters, cell phone charger, cordless phone, answering device, microwave oven, what-have-you. (I'm a surprisingly plugged-in coyote...)

Each of these indoor light pollutants, singly, is egregious enough. In concert, they turn the joint into a red/green/yellow/blue Christmas tree. I thoroughly resent the clueless electronics components makers, engineers and industrial designers who perpetrate this. Light emitting diodes and backlit liquid crystal displays have become dirt cheap -- a penny a pop. So product designers all plonk these things unthinkingly onto their gimcracks, some merely to let me know the damned thing is plugged in. (Of course it is. I plugged it, and don't expect the f*ing plug to fall outta the wall anytime soon.)

Costs 'em squat, and they can call it a 'feature'. A pointless one, resulting in one more selling point to list on the box, when I'd actually pay extra for its removal. Feature this, boneheads: one irritating little light to 'inform' me a thing is plugged in, and yet another to 'confirm' that it's actually turned on, when I know that already too, ain't a feature, it is crappy industrial design. And I have black electrical tape that trumps your stupidity. And makes your ugly 'design' even uglier, but so what?.

I am an aesthetical coyote. I just figure little glowing eyes in the dark are a privilege to be reserved for animate (and animistic) critters. Thank you very much. You may now return to more blogworthy creepy videos of little girls being harrassed about breakfast.

(Image: Environmental Science Program, Dedman College, Southern Methodist University)


4th Dwarf said...

I know what I'm getting Coyote for Christmas now: a roll of black tape and an eyeshade.

We can't have the poor puppy losing sleep.

Anonymous said...

I think we may safely assume Coyote does NOT use a nightlight...

coyote said...

Bein' a couple of millenia old entitles one to crotchety rants, sometimes, no?

The Chair said...

I'm with you, 'yote. My answering machine, which sits on my night table has the equivalent of 100 watt bulb to indicate it is turned on. Bright enough to read a newspaper with it. So I have to strategically place it behind a lamp so as not to blind me to the point of extracting a confession for a crime I didn't commit. Sure, last week they were burning their bras at Take Back the Night. I say Take Back the Night-light.

Apologies to "R".