Personal Trainer Update 1: Olga not Carlos

So, I've begun working with my Personal Trainer (PT). When I arrived at the gym, Carlos was nowhere to be seen. Then, suddenly a large 60-something woman approached me and said, "Carlos will not be able to work with you. Madonna needs him to be with her on her current tour. I'm OLGA. I will be your Personal Trainer.

Then, Olga invited me to her office where I sat in a nice comfortable lazy-boy. I thought to myself-- "I guess this is not tooo bad, although it would be even better if I had a coffee in my hand and Carlos at my side. However, I tried to stay positive about this new experience.

First, Olga asked me some very pointed questions about what kind of exercise I'd been doing. It seemed all very pleasant and friendly for while. I told her I enjoyed walking with Conch Shell, that I did the occasional yoga class, that I walked from parking lots into buildings, etc..., that my bike had flat tires, but that if it were functioning, I would be out there with all those Ottawa fitness nuts on the canal.

I think this is when Olga started disliking my attitude. She said, "It's all very nice talking about this exercise stuff in an intellectual way as you're sitting in that comfortable chair, isn't it? Well--you know what? You're not ready to go into the gym. I'm not taking you there. You need to move your ass for the next 8 weeks, then I might consider it."

I became a bit defensive, again pointing out how much I loved walking with Conch Shell while chatting, and how we sometimes walked briskly. Then, Olga asked sharply, "Would you say your walks are fairly light or somewhat hard?"

I responded, "Definitely somewhat hard."

She snorted, "Your definition of somewhat hard is likely fairly light." Then, she wrote something down in her notebook. She looked up and said, "My dear, if you are able to talk to your friend while walking, you are not working very hard at all, are you?" Then, Olga proceeded to give me the following homework for the week:

1) get my old bicycle tuned up (She said it was good that I had an old bicycle because it would make me work harder).

2) buy a coffee maker - the kind that has a timer so I can set it the night before and wake up to the smell of coffee. (She said that she was certain that I was unable to function without coffee)

3) buy or find a gym bag and get some things to put in it, including antiperspirant (I guess I was sweating at that point...)

She said, "Just do the homework. I don't care about the exercise at this point." Then, Olga dismissed me from her office with a brusque, "See you next week."