Emergency Meeting Minutes: 2006-05-24

Emergency ESI meeting, May 24, 2006, at the usual spot

Present: Agatha, Coyote, The Independent Observer (minute-taker), 4th Dwarf, Conch Shell
Conspicuously absent: The Chair

Assorted beverages are taken, then comestibles.

1. There is consensus the blog is going well after a somewhat shaky relaunch.
2. Agatha suggests a series on her personal trainer.
3. 4D arrives and soon after orders a Gloucester Sunrise. He proceeds to spend what some consider a disturbingly long period of time commenting aloud while staring at the lava lamp-like concoction: "Cranberry, orange. Cranberry, orange. Cranberry, orange."
4. 4D announces he cannot find the [Redacted] card, nor the field binder in which it was held. 4D later asks how and why this issue came up. The IO and Coyote provide an explanation related to the Da Vinci Code that need not be detailed here.
5. The group summarily rejects the idea of front-channelling previously back-channelled material out of concern it would reveal [Redacted] and scurrilous gossip.
6. The group, however, resolves to begin front-channelling redacted versions of meeting minutes.
7. CS suggests a "how-it-all-began" posting.
   Agatha, seemingly suspicious, revisits the [Redacted] card issue: Where is it?
8. 4D recaps finding the [Redacted] card, he recalls being stunned and amazed and insists it was not an elaborate hoax. He then suggests the Chair may be in cahoots with [Redacted], as he is the only one who had opportunity to plant the card in his jacket pocket.
9. CS compliments 4D on his high-maintenance women posting. The others concur. Discussion of HMW ensues.
10. CS raises the issue of HM men. CS then asks whether all HMW are selfish. 4D says yes, they are.
11. CS asks if Angelina Jolie is HM. Coyote says that in order to tell, one would have to live with her for a time, but not in the carnal sense.
12. Discusson of Brangelina. Aggie suggests Brad Pitt is a narcissist.
13. 4D believes Jennifer Aniston is adorable, and recounts an anecdote involving Oprah as evidence.
14. Oprah, says 4D, is definitely a narcissist.
15. 4D "acts out" the Brad / Jennifer breakup dynamic.
16. Discussion of various personal relationship examples / illustrations / horror stories takes place.
17. The 5M: Is she pregnant? Married? Both?
18. Discussion of The Chair's trip to [Redacted] follows. Is he back?
19. ESI vote: 4 in favour of calling The Chair, with 1 abstention. The Chair does not answer the IO's subsequent calls. A sternly worded message, punctuated by group catcalls, is left at his home.
20. 4D approves of Aggie blogging about her personal trainer.
21. CS makes an abrupt exit.
22. In rather awkward fashion, some of the ESIs discover they are not invited to [Redacted]'s party.
23. The meeting degenerates rapidly into aimless banter and wanton rumour-mongering.
24. Agatha continues to wonder about the [Redacted] card episode.
25. The IO, Coyote and Agatha discuss 4D's sly suggestion that The Chair and the 5M are secret allies.
26. 4D departs following an exposition on the "black ballot" technique (used previously to nix idea of front-channelling back-channelled messages). 4D notes the technique was commonly employed during meetings in the dormitory of his university.
27. The IO notes that during meetings in the dormitory of his university, residents drank alcool-spiked grape drink from large containers. Aggie notes this beverage is known as Purple Jesus. The remaining ESIs nod in agreement.
28. The meeting is adjourned.