2005-08-20

Coming soon to Mags and Fags

it doesn't seem like way too much time when you're hypomanic

22 comments:

coyote said...

Frankly, it seems like a bit of a niche market. But hey, I think I've already proved I fit the target demographic. And I'm looking forward to the articles about kitties!

Conch Shell said...

Nicely done, 4D. Good layout.

Corrie said...

Beautiful mag...I'm heading out now to get my own copy. But since we're into some self-referential patting-upon-the-back for such a job well done, may I comment on the latest poll?

Do I not recall in the dim, murky depths of age-old memories that some former polls were critisized (by whom? I just can't remember?!)for being too narrow in their choice of answers? Yes, SOME polls, I seem to recollect, were chastized because they offered only three or four POSITIVE options, while touting many more negative ones.

Yet what have we here? Keel-haul? Selling of scurviness? Flogging, casting and plucking (holyiness...sounds like the Apostle posted this one). And gossip or lack of it!

Wow, I need a rest just reading it, never mind actually voting in it! Mr. Pirate! Have some shame.

How about adding a few nice ones? Like, "congratulating him on finally making the break. After all, probably better for both of them." Or "A fit reward for M would be: a new girlfriend...
a nice, long, solitary recovery time....
a promotion...to Quebec...
a new-found love for kittens...

OK, that last one may be stretching it...or scratching it...or whatever. Coyote, stop drooling.

The Independent Observer said...

Ahh, 4D, your estimable publishing skills have brought us a most intriguing and titillating title. Seeing as you've just recently been liberated from years on the high seas with nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash, I am not at all surprised.

4th Dwarf said...

Arr, Waggie, if I hadna been told that you think carefully about what ye write here I'd think ye just dashed this latest off.

That's because the poll is about "a fit punishment", not some namby-pamby shore-lover's idea of restorative justice.

But I see I must go back to 5M's postings. I missed that M has made the transition from doctoral student to employee of large organization. Also missed the part where it was M that did the breaking up.

And you, IO, may be independent, but are not much of an observer. I've not yet finished Pirate School and regret to say I've spent very little time on the high seas. And if I had, I can assure you that women are entering the field of piracy in increasing numbers. There's no need for a swab to engage in sodomy if that's not his thing. (The lash is more the practice in the government sector than the private. As for rum, is the sun over the yard arm yet?)

Corrie said...

Ooooohhhh...Dwarfie! I think the "sodomy" comment struck a nerve! As for re-reading 5m postings, I admit I'm your inferior in that regard. There are wide swaths of unread Muse(ings)from this vantage point.
However, I didn't mean to suggest M did the breaking. I did mean, by "making the break," that he seems to have easily (on the surface anyway) accepted it. He's going with it. He's not pounding on her door, asking for reconsideration. That's all.
The "promotion" comment was just a fanciful suggestion...perhaps I should have said, "transfer to a Quebec school..."
But, back to that twitching nerve...So, if the lash is more of a government sector kind of thing, what, pray-tell is the preferred punishment in your neck of the woods? Or rather, seas? Or is it all underground with you?

4th Dwarf said...

With this "twitching nerve" comment, Waggie, I think y're projectin' once again.

There's really not much need fer punishment aboard a pirate ship. We're all united in a common goal, the leadership is generally elected and the standards for discipline are a sight more relaxed than on a government vessel.

But getting back to 5M, what d'ye think of this comment of hers:

Literary writers do not write for their audiences. They write for themselves.

Back when I read more than just pirate stories, I recall reading a piece where Kurt Vonnegut advised writers to write for a specific person. In his case, he wrote everything as though it was for his sister, Alice, who died in 1958, his "perfect reader".

"That's the secret of artistic unity,' he said [in an interview], 'Anyone can achieve it by making something with only one person in mind.' (From an online essay service)

Corrie said...

You seem to be a particularly good natured pirate today, Mr. D. Nothing I say seems to prod you into a drunken-frothing-rage. Good for you.
Re: writing only for yourself, only for one other person, or for a whole collective, what do I know? I've only ever had a particular type of writing published, and I don't think much of it was particularly literary. However, on the point of ignoring one's audience, THAT never worked with my stuff. In fact, ignore one's audience at one's peril, because one's job just may evaporate!
However, if self-employed and stuck in a garret, I suppose one may ignore just about everyone, if one so chooses. Though it doesn't sound good for the soul, to me.
And really, isn't most writing, even the hoitiest-toitiest-self-described-"literary" writing supposed to be the telling of a story? Good writing is deeply involving for the reader. It should tell a great yarn. How can you write it if you ignore the audience? Even if the audience is just your dead sister?
As for my "projecting," wouldn't you just like to know?

4th Dwarf said...

Ahh, Waggie, I'm not sure I would like to know.

Your remark about a drunken-frothing-rage; puts me in mind of a tale sailors like to tell.

Seems this Captain came on watch one day and found his first officer had imbibed a tad too much grog with his supper. He picked up his quill pen and wrote in the log "First mate drunk today."

The next time he was on watch, the mate wrote "Captain sober today."

Corrie said...

Excellent story-telling, pirate. Perfect for the audience, as well, I may note. Almost written for them, dare I add?

The Independent She-Pirate Observer said...

I here now beseech 4th Dwarf to frequent the roiling waters more oft'n. 'Tis true, the one-legged pirate did make the sea move fer me and many other a lucky lass. Ah Dwarfie, but we miss ye below decks!

coyote said...

Now there's an image calculated to make a queasy coyote woof...

The seriously-shocked-scrutinizer said...

Yyyyuuuccckkk...on top of the pirate-between-the-sheets-image, add half-digested coyote puke.

Get me to a kinder, gentler blog...

coyote said...

Hey, you drew your own conclusions. I was talking about barking.

Agents A and O said...

!
Exactly, S-S-S,

ESIs,

Can we please get back on track?

coyote said...

And what track would that be, officious ones? Far as I can see, there isn't one.

4th Dwarf said...

How about this track:

Speaking of Kurt Vonnegut, as I was earlier, I just came across a slip of paper from a few year's back on which I wrote the following quote from God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian

"I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them."

Corrie said...

AGENTS A AND O? You're seriously not BACK?

The Independent Observer said...

If we dare delve into the subject of "what women want" I suggest a whole new thread and a 40-ouncer of gin would be in order.

Corrie said...

Hey, did you hear about the best-seller entitled "What Men Know About Women?"

Open it up and page through 200 blank pages. The woman who "wrote" it is now quite wealthy...

The Independent Observer said...

Yeah, I know, I was the ghostwriter.

coyote said...

And I hear a ghostly rimshot...