Never too Late

Today she muses on M's unsuitability for medical school and finishes with the thought that it's too late for her to try to become a psychologist. Some may have comments on that desire of hers, but all I can say is, if it's not too late for this 92-year-old miner to go to pirate school, it's not too late for a 37-year-old dramatist/English Teacher/Blogger to go to shrink school.

But that's not really what I wanted to write about today. I wanted to write about the typos in her Birthday post.
Pardon me, but your slip is showing
First we have:

Tom Cruise (1962) sahred your birthday
  • Which I find interesting because "Sahred" sounds like a Vulcan name. We just keep coming back to space aliens with Tom Cruise.

Second there's:

You want anaswers.
  • This one is cute, don't you think? If an "anabaptist" is a Christian who doesn't believe in the sacrament of baptism, an "anaswer" could be a reply that doesn't address the issue.


Fortunately, the year ahead might be one of the best years of your life! Except a miracle.
  • It's like 5M doesn't want good things to happen. She looked these forecasts up online. Does she not know how to copy and paste? Why would she retype this?


Yu have impressive standards this year.
  • Honestly, I don't really care about spelling if I know what a person is trying to communicate. But mispelling a sentence about having standards is certainly something you'd want to avoid on a job application.


There is no fifth typo. That's right no fifth typo. Feel free to riff on:

Love signs are Scorpio and Sagittarius


coyote said...

Riff on, I shall, trusting that I make no telling Freudian slips: too bad about that fifth bullet point, Dwarf. It would've been so... perfect.

M doesn't like kitties? The heartless crud. Perhaps this is a clue that his assexualness is based on aesthetics... as in disliking the essential messy exuberance of it all.

And didja notice that the single front-channel birthday greeting came from someone styling themselves as aporetic aporia? An intriguing name: not really gender-specific, although Socrates was supposed to have tried to induce a state of aporia in the young men he was trying to teach. Teaching, in this case, naturally being by the Socratic method, this involved allowing the rabble to ask a lot of questions about the subject at hand, then sort it out for themselves. Very skeptically.

We appear to have a new character on the scene, one which draws its name from, well, philosophy. There are even a couple of philosophical journals carrying the handle. Also a couple of rock bands. Damn! 21st century life, like certain metablogs of my acquaintance, is so random. I was just getting used to the 20th. The muse thinks she's got problems with birthdays. Try making sense of your original life goals after a couple of millenia... I digress. I'm interested in whether this aporia character sticks. We must watch.

4th Dwarf said...

Not to be pedantic, but Evild'r also front channeled a birthday greeting. Oddly enough, 5M didn't grace his greeting with a reply, unlike this Aporia character.

Agatha said...

Excellent analysis, 4D. I'd really love to see her forget about M and find herself a nice Scorpio or Sagittarius. And, as it turns out, we know a few!
The kitties have had a wonderful influence on her. Imagine how great she'd be doing if she disentangled from M and started a non co-dependent relationship with an emotionally healthy sex maniac with all the riggin'.
Instead of constantly "helping" M -- "trying to make sure he makes a realistic choice" (yawn!)-- I'd love it if the 5M could just say, "You do whatever you want, dumpling. Just do it somewhere else." We should have gotten her that Lucinda CD...

coyote said...

No problem, Dwarf. Do the pedant and the pirate earrings make a matched set?

Agatha said...

I am beginning to think this Aporia character might be the rogue ESI member.

coyote said...

Excellent! A conspiracy theory! In what direction are your detective intuitions twitching, Agatha? C'mon, dish!

4th Dwarf said...

Before we get too carried away, let's examine the evidence:

At 7:03PM, Aporia said...
Interesting blog :-)

Deep cove, this rogue member. An understated compliment, with a long-nose smiley. Certainly not the trademarks of any of the ESI contributors.

There's the mysterious "independent observer", but surely he'd have given her a link to some apt image.

The Independent Don Cherry Observer said...

"Alright, so here's the 5M now and she's got the kittens -- what? -- OK, roll the tape. Here's the 5M with her new kittens. Down, Blue, down! And she's doin' all the right things out there. She's bein' the good mother, doncha know. And this M fella. I dunno here, about this M. He's just not a team player. Look at this now... he's takin' a dim view of the little kitten, whatsisname, Sweetie, callin' this kitty Stinky Butt. Shame! And that's not all. This guy, this M's got a history, right? Tailgating and all that. And not helpin' out the 5M. Takin' the 5M for granted. Listen up kids: This guy is bad news. Not playin' good D for the 5M and shyin' away from the high stick in the corners, if you know what I mean. OK, so now take a look here... on the right side of the screen here. Yeah, that's Mintyfresh. Now look how good ol' Minty helps out there, yeah, helpin' with the kitties. Givin' advice and all that. Now that's good Canadian hockey! OK, so the 5M, she's gotta dump this M like a bag of old hammers, yeah, so if she sticks with M, lemme tell ya, and mark my words here, she'll be headin' to the showers early. Alone. Huh, we're outta time -- what? -- "

The Independent Marshall McLuhan Observer said...

"Why does the 5M blog? After all, the blog is simply the modern form of a very old-fashioned medium, the diary of the schoolgirl and the journal of the attentive traveller. But all new media are essentially freshly formatted expressions of old media, presentations framed through the proverbial rear-view mirror. Notice how the television news shows call their feature presentations `magazines' or other derivatives of print media that came before them. Hence the Web page, not the Web hologram or other newfangled term. Blog is short for Web log -- a log being among the earliest forms of recorded transcription, the domain of astrologers, navigators and pirates. And of course pirates are a complex lot: brave, hardworking, prone to rule-breaking, frequently obsessed with sea monsters and sailing off the ends of the Earth. And so there you have it then. The 5M fears her unavoidable destiny, that she will one day slip beyond the bounds of her known universe into a realm of incomprehension, a blogless world."

Agatha said...

5 Reasons why the IO is right for the 5M:

1) He would be whatever she needed him to be at any given moment. She would never be disappointed.
5M: Could you make that annoying Canadian Tire fellow go away, please?
IO: Sure, hon. What are you in the mood for?
5M: Could you bring back that handsome media philosophy guy -- you know, the dead one, who said the medium is the massage.

2) He would help her with the kitties.

3) He may be one of her love signs.

4) He has a Mojomaster 1000.

5) There is no 5th reason.

Agatha said...

Pardon me--that would be a Mojomaster 10000. The 1000 is the relic I have in my shed.

The Independent Sigmund Freud Observer said...

"You may think that you intended to refer to the Mojomaster 10000, Agatha, but your subconscious decided otherwise. Very interesting. Very interesting indeed."

coyote said...

Awwww, you guys. Everybody knows it's not the number of zeros in the model number -- it's how ya use 'em...

Agatha said...

You are a crusty barnacle, aren't you, 4D? Yes, the "Could M be gay"? posting would be the obvious one, but, oh so banal.

4th Dwarf said...

'tis a good thing I didn't start a new posting then. All I know is, after two days of seeing that dreary image of Freud, I'm ready for a post with pretty lass.