2005-05-09

She did it!!

Good for her! She ditched that superficial, tailgating, sexual deviant! And can you hear the new confidence in her voice?

10 comments:

The Chair said...

Indeed.

Kudos to the team for the forecast on this one. Such skills in the seismology field would have saved lives.

I think the next big question is: for how long? Who's next? And will she follow the advice once given to the Amazon: The only way to get over a man is to get under an other.

BTW, she's looking to go for drinks this week. Do we need to deploy the field operatives?

coyote said...

Yup, she gone & done it. This is a good thing.

The next few days and weeks will tell whether she can hold to her intention. And they will also tell us what she means by 'a few drinks', given that late last week she was already hunkering down into the merlot, and promising more of the same, in anticipation of symposium stress. She's still fragile, and so is her resolve.

I see a few possibilities.

One, of course, is that she holds to her stated course to not see M. That will be difficult, yet ideal.

Another is that she will try to medicate her newfound aloneness/loneliness by any of a number of means. I refer to my earlier comment about merlot, although I actually approve of the psychic and emotional slate-cleaning effects of a good oldfashioned, down & dirty, cathartic post-breakup bender. When of short duration.... It allows one to reset one's outlook to a default position, achieving a sort of relationship tabula rasa. Done efficiently, (that is, in one big self-pitying drunk,) it ain't pretty. But it works, at least once the hangover stops reverberating and the necessary emptiness floods in.

Another risk -- often the most tempting, and therefore the most dangerous -- is to find somebody. Find anybody. Find a body. Avoid that emptiness at any cost. This may involve jumping straight back into bed (metaphorically, or actually) on the rebound with somebody new. Or, after suitable angst-ridden reflection -- something to which 5M is no stranger -- hooking back up with M. This self-prescribed medication will seem to take care of the immediate loneliness, but all it really will do is stave off having to look at the deeper issues that, for 5M, have been building through a series of unsatisfactory relationships. She keeps finding another guy she thinks is gonna make it all better, and conveniently overlooks the fact that much of her problem rests in -- her.

The latter is going to be most tempting for 5M, because she really really wants a relationship very badly. Humans are so easily deluded, most of all by their own wants.

I, being a coyote, think she should learn to dance with her own self for awhile. Preferably on the rim of a mesa under a full moon, although I may admit to a certain bias in the matter of venue. Other possibilities? Licensed therapists are there, and some of them are very good. It's a risk, though -- and another kind of relationship. Yet it could be (potentially, anyway) far more fruitful than some of these dead-enders in which she's indulged. But continuing to try to diagnose oneself is invariably fraught with problems. You can't see all the symptoms clearly. You get sidetracked, you obsess, you wilfilly avoid the tough stuff --and you prescribe the wrong medications for yourself.

She's taken steps to put her relationships in front of a larger audience, but it's a self selecting one. Hell, one of 'em is a notoriously prank-prone wild dog. Maybe it's time to find someone who can specialise a bit more.

I'm sure the rest of the chorus has ideas here. Over to you, fellow metabloggers...

4th Dwarf said...

No field ops for me. I'm laid up with black lung today.

The Yoga schedule for later today looks like this:


5:30-7:00pm Kripalu Power Pierre Bélisle
5:30-7:00pm Kundalini Yoga Catherine Larrivée
5:45-7:15pm Hatha Yoga (Intermediate) Mark Laham
7:30-9:00pm Bikram Yoga Karoline Eder
7:30-9:00pm Ashtanga Yoga (Basics) Kat Mills
7:30-9:00pm Hatha Yoga (Beginner) Pierre Bélisle

If she goes to a later class, she wouldn't want to go to our spot because there'd be loud entertainment.

I fear we have not heard the last of that tailgating M (that's when he lost any chance with me. I cannot bear tailgaters) but strongly suspect 5M will find at least temporary consolation in the arms of another before then.

coyote said...

Chair, the odds in this case are that field ops may strike out. Our chances of predicting her whereabouts to our usual standards are diminished, I think.

Put yourself in 5M's place for a moment. You've just split up with your no-good-rat-recent-former-soulmate; are you more likely to stay in character, and get pissed where everybody knows your name? Or are you gonna step out of character for a bit, bust loose and go to some superlatively loud, obnoxious and quasi-trendy meat market where there's at least an off-chance off being distracted by the noise, with the added possibility of some kinda shallow affirmation based various drunks' attempts to pick you up? I'm not entirely sure, but I know how the scenario often plays out... and hey, I'd bet she could wow 'em in club duds, should she choose.

Conch Shell said...

I give her four days before she starts hanging out with M again, as "friends".

Agatha said...

You may be right, CS... The conversation was a little too "civilized", wasn't it? She might decide to "go in" one more time, just to be sure. Time will tell. As for the yoga, I suspect she's going to be out of the hotroom and back into the Kundalini. I agree with Coyote, that there is something cathartic about the post-breakup bender. While we may be unsuccessful in our field efforts, perhaps we need to consider getting together sometime this week to raise a glass in honour of our M*se's recent progress.

4th Dwarf said...

4 days? Bold prediction. I predict she will wait and see if he does anything about her birthday to show that he really does care. Almost two months away, but I think she can make it.

As for tonight, while none of us can hope to match Coyote's experience with break-up benders, it's Monday in Ottawa. As is well known, Monday night is the new Sunday night. There just isn't a dance scene.

The temperature is going up to 24C today.

Elgin Street and MacLaren is far enough from Bank and Gilmour to be off M's track, so I think she'll wind up here, either with another female blogger or one of the men in waiting.

coyote said...

Sure, Dwarf. Slag the coyote.

4th Dwarf said...

How long have you been waiting to use that one?

Should I take pre-emptive action? "Stake a claim" so to speak? "Give you the shaft" in advance? Strip mine the thesaurus until no hidden gems remain?

In any case, given my new theory on which m*se is f1fth, that for our friend, it is not Terpsichore the m*se of dance, but Thali@, the m*se of comedy, twin sister to the m*se of tragedy, she'll want to talk about it.

The Chair said...

Enough with the puns, before it gets verse.